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Friday, July 22, 2011

Pay your Electrical Bill on time, or Else

The following account bears no reference to any person, dead or alive...

Mr. Sharma comes home one night and his wife throws her arms around his neck: I have great news... I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!!! The doctor gave me a test today but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC
(Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?"

"Yes... Speaking"

AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!!!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files... HOW???"

Yes... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"

"GOD!!!... this is too much..."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders, I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that... let me talk to my husband about this tonight, he will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on??? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue??? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, Sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.


"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Rupert Murdoch's Text Apology

Under a large headline "We are sorry," the piece will contain the following message, according to the text obtained by Reuters. It is signed at the bottom by Murdoch himself.

"The News of the World was in the business of holding others to account. It failed when it came to itself.

"We are sorry for the serious wrongdoing that occurred. We are deeply sorry for the hurt suffered by the individuals affected.

"We regret not acting faster to sort things out. I realize that simply apologizing is not enough.

"Our business was founded on the idea that a free and open press should be a positive force in society. We need to live up to this.

"In the coming days, as we take further concrete steps to resolve these issues and make amends for the damage they have caused, you will hear more from us.

"Sincerely, Rupert Murdoch"

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

My e-mail from News of the World

Dear .....

It is with great regret that we write to inform you that after 168 years we will publish the final edition of the News of the World this Sunday.

You will know that the paper has a proud history of fighting crime, exposing wrong-doing and regularly setting the news agenda for the nation.

However, in recent times the good things that the News of the World have done have been sullied by behaviour that was wrong and inexcusable.

As a result, the very difficult decision to close down the paper and notw.co.uk has been made.

Advertising space in this last edition of the paper will be donated to good causes and charities and all revenues will go to organisations that improve life in Britain and are devoted to treating others with dignity.

As a result of this decision, notw.co.uk will be open to the public for free for our final edition on Sunday 10th July. If you have already paid for access to the sites for this weekend and have outstanding credit on your account, we will contact you shortly and arrange a refund within the next 28 days.

If you have any other questions please email help@notw.co.uk

Thank you for reading the News of the World.

Yours sincerely,

The News of the World