Think Your Marriage is Happy, make it happier with these tips!

Many people have happy marriages. Overstatement or Understatement?

FACT: Happy Marriages are the exact OPPOSITE of a Hurtful Marriage.

If a hurtful marriage is one that causes you discomfort, pain, tears,
stress and depression; then a happy marriage is one that gives you
ease, pleasure, laughter, relaxation and joy!

Did you know there's a lack of silly arguments in a happy marriage?
All it takes is just one stupid argument (and it takes two hands to
clap - so please don't collaborate, just listen) to undo a happy
marriage.

Instead of finding excuses to show off your "superiority" (fyi:
marriage is an equal partnership), be reasonable and look for reasons
to make your spouse happy.

Work together to make your marriage a happier one:

1. Take some space

It is more difficult to accept feedback from your spouse when you are
in a negative emotional state than when you are calm and happy.

Being angry makes it hard to see the issues clearly, and not only will
you most likely fail to accept your spouse's opinion, you probably
won't be able to discuss it calmly too.

So take some space. Put off your "argument" and focus on something
else – but do it politely.

2. Focus on the big-picture goal
There is a reason why you married your spouse. If love was not the
reason, what is?

3. Remember they’re on your side

Your spouse is generally the one you sleep and wake with, right? No
one's going to get closer than that!

Sometimes, getting constructive feedback hurts. The key thing to
remember is that, the person giving that kind of feedback is on your
side and wants you to succeed.

4. Be solution-oriented

Rather than getting stuck in the argument, think about the solution.

5. Take it with a grain of salt

With the exception of your job, in most personal situations you are in charge. You don’t have to agree with all of the changes or suggestions your spouse makes. BUT you need to give your feedback so your spouse makes an educated decision about it.

C'mon it ain't so hard as long as you are human and capable of love. :) :)

Majority of Malaysians Do Not...

I am a Malaysian and while what I am about to write may not represent the true Malaysian, I believe that there is some inkling of truth to what follows - please read on...

What makes a Malaysian? By definition, any person born after the first Merdeka (Independence) Day in 1957 is naturally Malaysian. Growing up in Malaysia was fun - people from different backgrounds, religions and ethnic groups mashed up in a wonderful loving environment. The streets back then were relatively safe to with me walking the length of Kuala Lumpur undisturbed. 

Okay maybe that incident with that one Malay drug addict while asleep on the famous KL BMW (Bas Mini Wilayah)...this person attempted to molest this schoolboy (yours truly). I was a scout back then and we had just done an all-nighter in school having carried out a campfire gathering, so I was bushed and fell asleep on the bus only to be rudely awakened by this person stroking my thigh (didn't even stop even when I awoke). Luckily I had my Scout's Knife with me and I persuasively showed him enough to stop, he alighted at the next stop. Good riddance!

Back to topic, so what does the majority of Malaysians not...

• We do not simply park our cars. We park within allocated parking bays.
• We do not key, scrape or dent the car next to us even if they parked too closely to us.
• We abide by the traffic lights rules and stop at red.
• We do not tailgate the person in front who is hogging the lane and holding up traffic.
• We do not suddenly cut in another lane without signaling or at the last moment.
• We queue when it is required. We do not cut queue.
• We do not shout and use international sign language at other car drivers.
• When we walk across roads, we make sure it is safe - walk quickly and at pedestrian crossings. We do not walk slowly daring oncoming traffic and act blind. We also do not hold out our hand, stopping traffic and act as if we own the road.
• We do not walk shoulder to shoulder on narrow walkways with those next to us and prevent other people from overtaking us from behind or getting by us from the front.
• We do not make merry in public places and create a noisy nuisance of ourselves.
• We do not work for the need of money but rather for the purpose of assisting others get things done.
• We do not force others to succumb to our will; rather we show them the way and allow them to choose.
• We do not condone dirty politics and all its ills.
• We do not complain when the neighbor litters the front and the rubbish conveniently  blows to the front of our house.
• We do not also complain when heavy commercial & construction vehicles park and make the nice neighborhood we live in their depot. Even if we did complain to the local municipal, we do not expect much to change.
• We do not wish for change as change is strange, new and unpredictable to us.

There's just so many things that we Malaysians are not but one thing certain - the majority of Malaysians do have 2 things in common, anything that's free AND food! 

So be Malaysian, Malaysia Boleh!

Hot Hazy Summertime Blues in Malaysia

Wikipedia the free encyclopedia describes haze as a traditional atmospheric phenomenon where dust, smoke and other dry particles obscure the clarity of the sky.

Well in Malaysia it is very traditional alright, right down to consistently during summer (since 1982 too). Just as if the ozone layer is already not depleted enough and so burning hot! The way I see it, only idiots (because there are definitely more than a few of them) in Indonesia who make it a point year after year to do massive wide open burning.

While the Indonesian Government has only made disparaging retorts so far and in the past along the lines of - "the 'people' doing open burning is no other than those from Malaysia and Singapore", they seem to be nonetheless appreciative of these business mis-adventurers from overseas. Otherwise, why would they be knowledgeable of the nationalities of the perps and yet do nothing constructive and effective against them !?!

Hell they don't even get fined...even if they do - money can't buy back what is already lost, or maybe they are thinking that when the haze lifts and until the next time - it is sufficiently timely for those poor affected souls (such as Malaysians) to "heal" before the next attack!!!

No action doesn't mean that the problem will go away, yes it does but then again what about a year from now !?!

Every year we in Malaysia suffer the same problem with hazardous levels of haze, what are we? Some meek neighbor who only hold weekend parties and stay indoors (gap shut) while the next door neighbor does open burning!?! Oh good! Maybe the wind will blow the haze back in their faces and into their haze-resistant lungs... Hmph! Fat chance of that happening!

Schools closed, eye irritations, breathing difficulties -- WHY WHY WHY must we meekly endure this annual assault to our precious health?

Surely there must be some responsible and caring people in Indonesia who do not appreciate the lack of action and who are equally concerned about their own health and the environment that they live in, right?

There is hope still:

Walhi or Wahana Lingkungan Hidup Indonesia (Indonesian Forum for the Environment) noted that the root causes of the haze have remained the same, three decades after it became a trans-boundary problem. Quote Walhi's Southern Sumatra acting Executive Director Hadi Jadmiko, "Efforts to stop open burning should begin from the Indonesian Government". He goes on to say that the haze COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF the Government (of Indonesia) had been serious in tackling the issue by coming down hard on open burning over the years.

If not:

Let us pray that the good people in Walhi get elected to government roles of power and hopefully (and thankfully then) will we only have a hot BUT NOT hazy summertime in Malaysia...

Until that happens, I'll be indoors with the air-conditioners on and god forbid having to go outdoors mask on...

By the way, Malaysian Government is ramping up efforts WITHIN Malaysia by telling us to call 999 and report any open burning...

MAHAP

MALAYSIAN AGAINST HAZE & AIR POLLUTION

   

MY beloved Malaysia, Merdeka, Elections and Marching On

Go forth filled with glorious pride Malaysia!

Post Merdeka certainly isn't what it is supposed to be nowadays with so many issues related to racism; otherwise why would there be an endless count of pro-unity advertisements in the media and being exposed to all these ads makes me start to wonder if racial harmony is really at stake.

When I was young (way way back in school), skin color was never an issue. We all mixed well socially and never thought of others as Malay, Chinese, Indian, Punjabi, Eurasian or English. Yes, there was a chap named Mark in school back then and he was from good ol' England. So why should there be an issue since then? I mean, people back then around my age should be the same people now who are now 'perceived' racist right? I really don't know...and we cannot go round asking others if they are racist, except of course we can judge by their actions to know.

Nazism stresses and believes in the superiority of one race over others. After a war and Adolf Hitler, there are still self proclaimed Nazis in this world. But, Malaysians are generally a peace loving lot. It's "in our blood" and culture. We are not Nazis and neither are we some form of the Ku Klux Clan. Racism and all it's extremities has no place in the modern world and certainly never in Malaysia.

What I do know is that racism should never arise as we Malaysians are Satu Malaysia, Satu Bangsa!

Harmony is not forged of tolerance; rather it comes from the mutual understanding and acceptance of one another. Yet, most of the earlier mentioned ads carry the Tolerance message.

Is the Merdeka model now dead? Hah! There is no straight answer because we Malaysians are so diverse. I may be a post Merdeka (way post, read all I could from proper History textbooks) but I think and still believe in Merdeka - it's history, significance and appreciation is a single component that bonds and binds us together...

The 13th General Elections also brought on another side of politicians that we have never seen or heard of -- they who lost started lamenting that the very people they 'helped' had voted for another. Just goes to say that these persons are politicians first before anything. And is it not true that this voting process allows us - a Malaysia citizen to have our say in choosing those whom we believe are capable to be the people's representative in the Parliament, Government and country? Instead of complaining, any proper bona-fide community service provider would have continued doing what they do best, that is to serve the people without falter -- actions do speak louder than words.

I learned long ago that national harmony can be a success only when we know why we are doing it, are clear about what we want to achieve (not Apa Lagi Cina Mahu nonsense) and set ambitious but realistic targets AND expectations. There must not be any trial and error and taking the 'we'll find out as we come upon it' attitude too. There will be a million people who will tell us a million ways why we failed to be Satu Malaysia Satu Bangsa BUT this country has way more than a million people. Right?

So if you are Malaysian and reading this - believe in unity and never back off!

 

Keep the Peace for Your Own Sake

A tiny little thing sets you off. You know you're being totally unreasonable, but at the moment, you don't care. You rant you rave and behave like a child throwing a tantrum...

You have to put things in perspective.

Otherwise...think about waking up alone. Permanently.

In support of keeping the peace!

Be Happy in Life by Finding Balance

Face the facts, it's all about balance!

Don't get me wrong but it all does not boil down to percentages and statistics. C'mon how does one measure happiness? It's a feeling and feelings are felt and not measurable in terms of units. What about those common customer surveys that asks us to rate in terms of, 1 being the least and 10 being the most? Simply does not EQUATE!

If that's the case, what matters then?

Compartmentalizing doesn't work. People who are dissatisfied tend to be unhappy at home, work and "everywhere". It's in-built and "everywhere".

What gives people fun and meaning is highly variable and individualistic. Like they say, "one man's meat is another's poison". So if you’re unhappy, the reasons have as much to do with you as they do with others.

Happy people live meaningful lives!

Nobody can define meaningful for you. What matters is you must feel you are living your own values.

In other words, if you want to discover how to be more satisfied in life, look nowhere else than within. You are the key to your own happiness and meaning, no one else.

Me? I'm still on the path to self enlightenment.

Holidays a'loomin Cops a'bloomin

Major holiday (Chinese New Year) coming up, fast approaching and I'm ready to rock and roll...so's police season!

Careful when driving, mind your stops n' turns.

See a traffic policeman, FEAR NOT! Instead if stopped, asked how you can help -- but beware! They can come in other colors besides Black and White.

Unsuspecting motorists caught unawares as camouflaged cop wearing dark jacket pretends to be a tree in hot afternoon signals buddies a stone throw away. The biggest crime you can have during cop season is beating the lights and illegal turns -- so if you do happen to be stopped, be a good samaritan and offer tea, it's hot after all.

On a serious note -- drive carefully, observe courtesy and the rules of the road.

Wishing all and sundry an early Chinese New Year Greeting (cops aside) that's gonna be full of goodness, health and prosperity! Cheers! Oops...I meant well, if you know what I mean.

Living A Better Life

You don’t like your life? Change it!

Change your life for the better! Don’t have any clue on how to do it?

Here’s a list of 100 ways in which you can improve your life.

Without further ado, let’s go.

1. Accept Your Mistakes
You’re human. We, humans, are making mistakes. Accept what you did wrong and try to do better next time. No need to punish yourself forever. In fact, accepting your mistakes is the only way to make them disappear.

2. Accept Your Friends Mistakes
Maybe you got hurt by somebody. Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. People are making mistakes and if you can accept that for yourself, accept it for your friends too. In the end, all you need from them is their love.

3. Create A New Habit
We’re doing a lot of stuff on autopilot. Try to integrate in this category new things you want to attract into your life. Habits are powerful. Harness their energy for your own good. Start by creating a habit in 15 days.

4. Build Self Discipline
Don’t wait for other people to impose discipline on you. Start early. Create your own discipline. Although it sounds a little bit harsh, self discipline is a facilitator for many things in your life. It’s hard to get but great to have.

5. Make New Friends
Reach out. Don’t be afraid. Establish new contacts. The worst thing that may happen to you is to be rejected. Well, if that’s the case, move on. The reward of having true, long-lasting friendship is worth all the potential rejection.

6. Get A New Job
Shaking your comfort zone will often create a lot of value in your life. If you’re not satisfied with your job, just get a new one. The pitfall of not having money for a limited period of time is temporary, get over it.

7. Start A New Diet
You are, in a vast proportion, what you eat. Trying a new diet would often be the only needed change for a dramatic boost of your health and energy. Don’t necessarily have to be raw food, or even vegetarian, whatever works for you.

8. Keep A Journal
Write down you feelings, your ideas, your goals, your activity. Journaling is by far one of the most useful things I’ve done to change my life for the best. It works in such a silent, yet effective way. All you need is pen and paper.

9. Create And Keep A Morning Phrase
Whatever you say to yourself in the morning, it will most likely come true during the day. Why not taking advantage of it? Create a simple morning phrase and say it to yourself first thing in the morning. Is that simple.

10. Travel Far Away From Your Home
Traveling long distance is incredibly rewarding. It’s so exciting and full with unknown events. I only recently started to travel really far away from my home, but I do wonder how could I ever made it until now without this.

11. Learn To Take Risks
Your life may be so boring and fade because… err, you made it like this? When was the last time your tried something really difficult? When was the last time you challenged the odds doing something risky? Do it now.

12. Start Your Own Business
Be your own boss. Work your own hours. I know, it sounds so shallow, for you, who hate your job but still have to stay there because of that mortgage. Well, unless you make the first step, nothing is going to change. That’s for sure.

13. Change Your Work Space
Clean up your desk. Re-arrange furniture. Add some color to that space. Make the place where you work really enjoyable. So enjoyable that work there won’t be perceived as work anymore. It will be something you love to do.

14. Learn A New Language
Challenge your mind. Constantly. If you’re going to do number 10, you’re going to learn some new languages too. From my experience, learning a new language is a fantastic mind opener. Sometimes you don’t even have to travel there.

15. Find Reasons To Agree
Rather than disagree. We have this mindset of competition which makes constantly arguing over things. Well, stop that. You don’t have to force yourself into agreement, if it’s not the case, just trying to find some reasons will be enough.

16. Pay Yourself First
You can’t give something if you don’t have it. You can’t spread light onto others if you don’t have light from within. You can’t give wealth to others if you don’t have it for yourself first. Make yourself a service and pay yourself first.

17. Wake Up Early
This is not a habit, this is a lifestyle. Don’t just wake up early without a purpose. Be early. Be there before others. Look for opportunities and embrace them. Waking up early means keeping your eye open to every available opportunity.

18. Train Your Focus
Your focus is in fact your reality. Use it wisely. Train it constantly for it will enhance your reality in ways you never imagined. Keep your focus sharp as a razor blade and be prepared to experience life in fantastic shapes and colors.

19. Start A Blog
On whatever topic you want. Not only it will give you the opportunity to create something new and valuable but it will also bring new people into your life. Blogging is far more than a hype, is a personal development tool. A very good one.

20. Write An Ebook
You may think you don’t have a talent, but that’s completely wrong. And the easiest way to prove it wrong is to start writing an ebook. Any ebook. You pick the topic. It might be something you know or want to learn about. Write it. It’s fun.

21. Be Better, Not Perfect
Striving too much for perfection will ruin your life. It will wipe out all those little imperfections which are making you… human. Being better, on the other side, is rewarding. Look back at the yesterday you and just say: I’m better!

22. Stop Self Sabotage
You’ll be surprised by how much of a burden you can be to yourself. You are literally self sabotaging. Most of the time, unconsciously. If you have a long history of failure behind, that could mean you’ve become your worst enemy. Stop it.

23. Find Reasons To Love Your Life
Maybe life wasn’t fair with you. Yes, I know, I’ve been there: life is never fair. But it’s fantastic. It’s unique, unrepeatable, one of a kind, beautiful, simple, challenging, sweet, hard… Just take a step back and find reasons to love your life.

24. Try Something New
Maybe you’re sad because you’re bored. Have you ever thought about that? Just reach out and try something completely new. Go for a challenge, learn a new sport, pick a different restaurant or go for a comedy movie (if you’re the drama type). Just try it.

25. Avoid Fighting
Fighting is the biggest energy leak of your being. Trying to prove another guy wrong is so against your true nature. You’re here to acknowledge life’s wonders, not to prove anybody’s wrong. They’re not wrong, just have different opinions. And that’s part of life.

26. Stop Wasting Your Power
Are you doing something that you think you shouldn’t be doing right now? Well, that’s wasted power. That’s meaningless stuff promoted to the honor of being a part of your life. How long are you going to approve this? Why wasting power?

27. Learn To Ignore
I think they should be teaching this one in schools. We’re so focused on so many topics and think we have to do so many stuff, that our life is literally clogged with stuff. It’s good to do stuff, but learning to ignore stuff is much better.

28. Experiment Gratitude
When was the last time you said “thank you”? With all your heart? Everybody knows that an attitude of gratitude is the key to success, but almost nobody practices it. Well, start by experience gratitude first, and take it from there.

29. Recycle Your Aggression
Don’t throw it away, recycle it! Use it for something you really want! Call out those wild forces inside of you and put them to work. Aggression is part of your being, so don’t try to reject it, because it will only grow stronger. Recycle your aggression.

30. Release Your Guardians
Don’t touch that! Don’t eat that! Don’t go for that opportunity! Those are the sentences you hear when going for something you really want. Those are your guardians, your mental constructs made to protect you. Release them, you’ll be much better off.

31. Clean Up Your House
It’s fun. And it’s good for you. Make a habit out of cleaning up your house with joy and happiness. What’s outside is a mirror of what’s inside. If your house is a mess, probably your internal life is a disaster. Neat that stuff, it’s easy.

32. Write A Personal Mission Statement
You’re here with a reason. No matter how small you feel now, how insignificant others may made you feel, you have a purpose. Take the time to write your personal mission statement. It will bring light and direction into your life.

33. Dissolve Negative Opinions About Yourself
Whatever you think you may do, it’s half of what you can really do. And that’s because you have so many negative opinions about yourself. You can solve them. Just accept the fact that you have them and then start working on them.

34. Build Different Skills
Don’t stop learning. Don’t remain stuck in a single career, it’s boring and limiting. Learn different skills, possibly from completely unrelated fields. You never know when life will ask you to use them. Besides, it’s a lot of fun.

35. Manage Your Time As You Manage Your Money
Have you ever thought what would be if you would manage your time the same way you manage your money? Just give it a try. See where you spend most of your time, what the return of investment is and how rich are you in time.

36. Exercise
You don’t have to break the world record, or something. Just make sure you exercise constantly. It will make your body healthier and your mind clearer. It’s also one of the simplest and most affordable ways to improve your life.

37. Be A Parent
Having kids doesn’t necessarily means you’re a parent, and I know that very well. Being a parent will surely change your life forever: filling it with unconditional, life lasting love, care and warm feelings. You’ll live in love. And learn.

38. Throw Away One Object A Day From Your House
Maybe your life is breathing so hard just because it’s suffocated by objects. Learn to let them go. You may donate them, give to charity or simply throw them away, but don’t let the clutter stay in your way. You’re not the objects you have.

39. Read A Book Per Week
Or, alternatively, a fine selection of blogs. That will keep your mind alert and your focus steady. Reading is like good food for your brain, without it, it will go lazy, obese and unresponsive. But with the proper food it can become your best friend.

40. Start A Monthly Challenge
Being it physical, mental or social. Intend to acquire something new in your life in 30 days. Improve your health using new methods, or your relationships by starting new things together. Make it count. And count on it.

41. Call An Old Friend
It’s enlightening to meet somebody you haven’t talk to in the last years. Go right now and call an old friend, or a relative. It will bring up memories and it will create new opportunities. Don’t let the dust settle on your relationships.

42. Follow A Coincidence
Well, there aren’t any coincidences, I lied. Everything has a purpose. If you witness something which may seem like a coincidence, then you’re very lucky, you just got a sign. Follow it with trust, it will lead you well.

43. Play A Game
Any game. Just play. Like a child. Allow yourself to do something just for fun, without any goals, pressures or deadlines. Will make you understand that everything is a game. Sometimes a little bit harder, but still a game..

44. Forgive Somebody Out Of The Blue
Don’t hold that grudge for that past insult. Grudges are heavy and tend to make the take off for a new life a little bit difficult. The longer you hold that grudge, the more difficult the take off will be. Forgiveness will lift you off.

45. Stop Solving The Wrong Problems
You are not here to witness the bad things in your life. Nor the performance in itself. You are here to enjoy a journey. To become aware, To grow. So, stop solving the wrong problem and focus on what really matters.

46. Make Peace With An Old Enemy
That’s more than forgiveness, that’s the actual process of reversing a situation. Make peace with somebody. Turn it into your friend. I’m not saying this is easy, I know it first hand. But I also know it works. Enemies count down, friends count up.

47. Make A Promise To A Close Person And Keep It
It doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be for someone special. It doesn’t have to be difficult also. But it has to be a commitment to somebody. Just reach out, make a promise, keep it and then enjoy the feeling after.

48. Break Up With A Person You Don’t Really Like
Maybe you’re friend with somebody just by habit, chemistry being dead for a long time now. Just break it up. Tell him. Ok, let’s unfriend us, this will not work. It will bring up something you thought you lost it long ago: courage.

49. Get A Thing You Wanted For A Long Time
But you didn’t had time or money to get it. Just go out and get it. Not only it will boost your self-respect, but it will also free your desire channel, which may be a little bit clogged by having one and only one desire for such a long time.

50. Stop Being Judgmental
With others AND with you. Excessive criticism will kill your enthusiasm. And if you think this post is something you shouldn’t read in the first place, then, my friend, you really are judgmental. Lighten up. Accept life as it is.

51. Change Your Wardrobe
You don’t know how much are you tied to what you wear. If you’re on the gray loving side, put some color in your clothes. If you’re on the black and white, try some gradients. Of course, your clothes are not you. Hence, they’re so easy to change, right?

52. Smile At Least 10 Times A Day
And I mean it, start to count that. Smiling is a sign of honesty and power. Everybody can cry over a disaster but only the most powerful can take bitterness with a smile. Exercise that power. And then try to go for 20 times a day.

53. Burn Some Old Memories
Maybe the notebook from your 7th grade? Maybe the teenage dumb poetry you wrote? Whatever it might be, break up. It might be difficult, but it might also be a sign that you’re so attached to the past that you can’t advance in your life anymore.

54. Plant A Tree
Or take care of a flower. Do it for at least several months. It will give you a sense of potential. Seeing that tree or that flower growing will make your self-confidence go up. If a flower can make it, why can’t I? Of course you can, now do it!

55. Move To Another Town Or Country
Maybe it’s time to change the environment? Take the plunge, move over. Pick another town or even another country. Like all the good stuff, it might be pretty difficult in the beginning, but you can bet it would shake everything really good!

56. Join A New Group
Go to a bikers meeting. Or, if you’re not a biker, to a toastmaster meeting. Join a group and see how you fit in. It will help if the group will be focused on some of your passions, of course. It will reveal a lot about your social skills.

57. Stop Watching TV
Television evolved a lot from the balanced news provider it was in the beginning up to the current manipulating tool. Just stop watching it for a week. And then for a month. Meanwhile, assess your psychological progress. You may be amazed.

58. Start A Totally Unexpected Hobby
Start making trains out of matches. Raise cobras. Put tiny vessels into tiny bottles. Do whatever it takes to move your mind from your problems for a while. And if you can create something nice in the process, why not doing it?

59. Randomly Hug A Stranger On The Street
Ok, this might be a little bit dangerous, but only if you think at it. If you’re doing it, chances are that you’re going to get your hug back. It will also help raising your adrenaline up to levels you never had for a very long time.

60. Set Up A Surprise Party
For your or for a friend. It’s always good for your mood, even if – or especially if – you’re down. Do a thematic one, invite friends and tell them to bring their friends. And then expect to meet new, wonderful persons. And of course, have fun.

61. Go Hiking
Do it for at least one week-end. Nature is more powerful than our human created environment. We don’t know how to channel the energy into our artificial habitats. If you want to recharge, go outside and stay in connection with the wilderness.

62. Get A Pet
Whatever works for you, a bird, a guinea pig, a dog or a cat. It will keep you alert and it will cheer you up when you’re down. Taking care of a pet is also easier if you’re overwhelmed with human interaction. Even from a pet, love is still love.

63. Write A Thank You Letter
You can send it or not, the real catch is to write it. Pick someone who helped you in the past. Start writing the letter and say everything you want to say to that person. It will make you understand what are you really grateful for in your life.

64. Meditate Daily
It’s the easiest thing you can do. True mediation acts like a mind emptier, leaving you open to the whole flow of the sensations and experiences you would otherwise ignore. You don’t even need a complicated technique, meditate as you see fit.

65. Say Something Nice To Somebody
Just like that. Out of the blue. Pick an unknown person and say something nice. After the initial surprise you’ll be amazed by the unmasked joy and gratitude they’re expressing. Admit it: you would like that too, isn’t it?

66. Say Something Nice To You
Ok, but if nobody is telling you nice things, why not start this yourself? Do it in whatever form you think it’s appropriate: send yourself emails, write in your calendar or leave yourself nice postits on the desk. With something nice just for you.

67. When I Doubt, Improvise
Being so scared for not knowing the answer, so nervous that you may screw thins up… I know the feeling, I’ve been there too. Just go with the flow. Improvise. It will be so good for your unconscious mind. The real answer will be surprising.

68. Don’t Argue, Win Or Lose
This goes hand in hand with avoiding the fight, but it’s a little bit different. If you get caught in an argument, just accept that you can have only two outcomes from it: win or lose. Settle with one and just move on.

69. Stop Faking Your Life
It’s so easy to get caught in a flow of fakes. Society wants us to politely lie and you need to lie sometimes. Just stop it. Being authentic is the best thing you can do. No need to hide your sorrow, nor your joy. They’re both part of life.

70. Define Goals
Again, that goes hand in hand with writing a personal mission but it’s more than that. It’s the habit of clearly deciding – and, subsequently, describing – where you want to go. Do you have a goal? A passion, maybe? Go for it! And be verbose.

71. Help Others
Reach out and try to see if you can help others. You don’t have to be a Samaritan, just go out there and support somebody. The biggest trick of helping is really surprising: although it seems you’re giving, you’re in fact receiving a lot more.

72. Go Social
Mingle, interact, go out. Get used to meet new people. Make this a habit and you’ll soon get used to do new things too. The goal is not to be the best networker in the world, but to be connected to as many energy sources as you can get.

73. Spend Some Time Alone
Subsequently, make sure you set aside enough time for your own. You don’t necessarily need to recharge, but you need this time in order to get a new perspective. Stop for a while and look around. Where are you? Where do you want to be?

74. Fix Something By Yourself
Go fix a broken window, or a scratch on your car. Don’t call for a specialist, get involved, see how you can have an impact on things around you. Work with your hands, prepare to sweat. It will instantly make you feel better.

75. Create Value
Make things that others need too. Make something useful. Don’t follow blind or outdated commitments, go for what really makes a change around you. Creating value is the core of your activity here and the only thing you really have to strive for.

76. Do A Random Act Of Kindness
Doesn’t have to be in the form of a nice compliment this time. You don’t even need to communicate it to the target person. Just do an incognito service to someone. See how this makes you feel. Think how many times you received that.

77. One More Second
Create the habit of looking at things for one more second. Spend one more second before taking an important decision. Delay something. Time will follow your intention and open some unexpected window for you. Slow it down a little.

78. Understand What People Want From You
What you can do is not always what people want from you. Clearing that confusion alone could bring an immense relief to your life. You don’t have to immediately provide what they’re wanting, but if you do, you may have some big surprises.

79. Break An Old Bad Habit
Breaking a bad habit is difficult. But breaking an old bad habit will free an incredible amount of time into your life. Quit smoking or stop talking on the phone for hours. Whatever you break, it will change your life for the best.

80. Stop Complaining
Complaining is like an open invitation for troubles. The more you complain about something, the more of that something you invite into your life. Cut it out. You don’t get any comfort out of complaining, only troubles.

81. Reject What You Don’t Want
It’s so simple, yet so underrated. Society wants us to complain even when we don’t really like stuff. Like forcing us to smile when we don’t find it funny. Allow yourself to walk away from something you don’t like. Just do it!

82. Being Is Better Than Having
Too much and too often we shape our life’s fulfillment degree to the amount we possess. The fundamental mistake. If you’re doing it, stop it right now. You’re not what you’re having. Being is so much better than having.

83. Listen To Your Critics
This one might be difficult in the beginning but once you get used to it it’s fantastic. You may find out a lot of stuff about yourself that you didn’t know about. You think you are one kind of person, but others may disagree.

84. Don’t Take It Personally
Never. Your world is shaped by your reaction to things, not by the things themselves. Don’t get upset, don’t think that somebody knows you enough to make right assumptions about you. Acknowledge and move on.

85. Laugh
This time is not about smiling. It’s about laughing. Don’t you ever miss another opportunity to laugh. Especially at yourself. The longer your laughing sessions, the shorter your misery ones. Looks like a nice deal, isn’t it?

86. Go With Passion
Don’t let your rational mind stand in the way of your passion. If you found – or at least felt, even occasionally – something that thrills you, you’re there. You don’t need a confirmation on this from anybody. Go with your passion.

87. Trust Your Emotions
Don’t underestimate your emotions. Or overestimate them. Your emotions are your feed-back system and for that they are very important. Trying to ignore your emotions is like depriving yourself from lights in a car running in the middle of the night.

88. Live It Like A Holiday
Ever observed how nice you feel during your holiday? How light, joyful and authentic? Everything is just wonderful. Well, you are on a continuous holiday here. It starts with your birth and end with your death. Live it like a holiday.

89. Make A Story Out Of It
Do you like a good story? I love it. Make everything in your life story-worthwhile. Make it as it would be a fantastic journey and you will be at all time the observer, the hero and the narrator. Create the story of your life.

90. Stop Being A Follower
Admiring is nice. But being admired is even better. Stop trying to fit in other people’s shoes. Find your own path. If that means breaking up completely your lifestyle, so be it. If you are “like” somebody else you can’t be “like” yourself anymore.

91. Watch Your Beliefs
Your beliefs are not you. But they are shaping your life constantly. You have the power to change them at any point in your existence. But in order to do that, you must first start to observe them, to isolate them, to accept them.

92. Stop Lying
To others and to yourself. Although it might ease a complicated situation, a lie is not good in the long run. The trick is that if you’re telling a lie you’re altering your reality. And a distorted reality will be impossible to handle.

93. Stop Reacting To Stuff
And start acting on stuff. Initiate things. Start projects. Predict situations and be there before the hurricane hits. Reacting to stuff is a victim paradigm. Stop being a victim and start acting. Create your life instead of being the creation of others.

94. Live Today
Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Go for what you can do today and leave yesterday behind for good. It’s not here anymore. And tomorrow doesn’t even exist yet, so why bother. All you have is today. Don’t waste it.

95. Expect The Unexpected
If there’s something unusual that happens to you, go for it. The unexpected is a signal of an opportunity. It will not always be nice, this unexpected, but whenever it’s around, magical things are happening. Wait for it. Praise for it.

96. Enjoy
Like being in joy. Like giving permission to yourself to extract joy from any situation you’re in. Even if it’s bad. Or especially if it’s bad. Joy is everywhere, you just have to let it manifest through you. Don’t resist joy. Don’t reject it.

97. Make Your Own Rules
And stick with them. Go for what works for you, not the others. Go for what you want, not the others. Including me. Make your own system and be proud of it. You may upset some people in the process, but hey, that’s life.

98. Love
Unconditionally. Totally. Constantly. Restlessly. Love is the only glue that keeps your life running. You were born out of love and you carry it deep down in your being. Love is never about the others, it’s about you.

99. Get Rid Of Labels
Things are what they are. Don’t use labels anymore, use directly the things. Your notion of “right” and “wrong” are nothing but labels. In a different country your “right” might be “wrong”. Don’t charge yourself with this unneeded burden.

100. No Regrets
Regretting something is another form of not accepting reality. What you can do about it now? It’s gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. Focus on what you can change: your present moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Now. Live now.

You have the Right

The right to speak and to be heard
The right to make errors
The right to change your mind
The right to be responsible only for yourself and your actions
The right to say no

How I Saved Money at Carrefour last weekend

This is an account how a weekend shopping freak saved money at Carrefour. Here goes...weekends are normally a day I spend with a trip to the local Carrefour in my neighborhood. From some profound reason, I had my trusty Lenovo Thinkpad SL410 with me this time - at the entrance a pretty young thing greeted me as I walked in.

However, some other young person stopped me virtually in my tracks with a hand up and asked, "Encik itu beg notebook ke? Boleh ikat?" - that's the local Bahasa Malaysia for Sir is that a notebook bag? Can I tie it? - and proceeds to reach for my Lenovo bag with one hand while the other holds a cable-tie (a plastic push and lock binder). I was thinking all the time, hey! I've been here with the same before - what the ....and also the inconvenience of having to cut the cable when I walk out which would obviously damage or with some small scratch when I find (if I could) a scissors or cutter at the exit.

And that my friends is how Carrefour turned away a regular minimum RM200 a visit customer who was planning to spend much more that time as he had more than groceries to buy. Bye bye Carrefour for as long as my unforgiving heart can remember.

You Are in Control

Sometimes the truth eludes us because we ourselves complicate and make it hard to understand...keep it short and simple :)

Thought of the Day - 17th Day in the month of February 2009

It's a good start and rather timely to review just how well I've fared this early into the year 2009. I'm still keeping optimistic and my fingers and toes crossed that the year will finally balance itself and behave.

At this moment I feel very generous and forgiving, thanks to the affectionate 'can we still be friends' characteristic of mine. I shall stop toting around miserable ancient grudges that affect me more than anyone else and decide to deposit them in the 'bygones' cubbyhole. Ah - almost instantaneous relief. This is my decision. It's my call.

Ambient tension or stress is better to be released rather than harbored where it will fester and spill over. Not that being in control is less of a human being but it shows us in better light and makes us healthier as well when we choose not to be bothered at all. That's a higher plane of existence. I once read somewhere that people that bother others are so full of shit and they always look for other people to unload their shit.

Past events and present circumstances are only a continuation of time and it serves naught to let it dwell too long in the former. If we remain trapped in that twilight of past blurring the present, we'll feel anxious, slightly angry or resentful, and possibly disappointed with our situation. It's a no-brainer. Don't be another person's dumping ground for pain, suffering, and misery; either detach or stay away from them.

Perak's Crisis Fiasco

With due respect the recent "minor" upheaval in Perak Malaysia is anything but "happening". What more can I expect from a state government that's barely a year old? It's like taking candy from a baby. Now if the states in East Coast were to be as such, then perhaps the show would be impressive and well deserved a pat on the back.

The occurrences of governments falling, in this case that of a state, should be of certain standards. For one, the instability must be caused by great grief for acts done that fail to protect the interest of the public. Secondly or in conjunction with the former acts that have harmed the public and/or their interest.

Members of Parliament are MERELY elected representatives of the people under the banner of their respective party or party-free candidacy. It is not a position to be traded for political and/or monetary advantage.

A simple approach would be to implement a guideline that will state that any Independent (Party-Free) MP so-elected is FREE to align them to the powers-that-are. MPs that won their seats based on support for their political party should vacate those seats if their ideologies differ from that of their party and to have the party appoint another candidate as suitable replacement. This is because the public votes for the candidate is based on his type of candidacy, and not a hundred percent on personal character. It's simple yet effective and would make Malaysia less laughing fodder in the eyes of the world. Although, who cares what the world thinks since its not anyone's business what goes on with others...but then again politics will always remain politics.

My Life Today in Malaysia

It’s Saturday, the 7th of February in the year 2009, and yours truly is in the green. Being in the green means that my mind is jam packed, as usual, with thoughts. The only one I recognize is the constant itch to travel out of the country. But that’s not the point, my friend. The point is the beautiful people and places. There’s Singapore with all its supermodel pedestrians, and there’s my favorite country, Australia, and above all, there is the heart-stoppingly scenic, ultra ancient modern young and happening China, and the big boss, Japan, also beautiful. And then there are some others I haven't been to yet, but I’d like to.

The point is that they’re all not Malaysia, all beautiful travel destinations, and all here in this world where the local scene is bracing up to face the economy and business and fears of inflation and the credit crisis. And it’s all a torrent of wants, and they’re all so alluringly make-me-forget-and-relaxed, and I’m thinking, Why? When do I go from here?

When I finished breakfast at the local kopitiam, I hightailed it back to my abode, and what should be waiting there to greet me in the news is but the one and only stuff that is utterly embarrassing and disturbing, the one news that sort of puts one on the whole concept travel far far away, political instability in the country. Its been around a few years now, and we have all had our share of controversy lately. But I do hope that it'll be the last so that Malaysia can forge ahead and make right the wrongs in the past. Malaysia is still pretty young in terms of maturity at half a century. Looking mighty sweet to outside investors, she may soon sour if we don't get a firm grip at improving ours mentally and financially. We all know more than a little about the inner workings of the financial world - the strong oppresses whereas the weak meekly follow.

And the next day, there’s still us in the news with the political issues and such. I hope to see more of news that tell how well we are progressing, plans for the country's future, and lika lika lika.

What we have is a flood, a wakeup call, a tsunami of politic and economy. Pak Lah our beloved Prime Minister is still by far the best in my eyes. A leader that commands respects even till today and this is coming from someone who is a mere three decades of acquaintance from afar.

Long be well Malaysia.

McDonald's @ Malaysia - unforgivably Malaysian

"Had an awesome time at McDonald's and can't wait to share it with someone? Think you've got an idea to help us boost our service? Let us know! We'd like to hear what's on your mind to improve our services. We want you to love every encounter with McDonald's. After all, we're supposed to be your favourite place to be, not just a place to eat!"

And, that's how the fat lady sings or in my case, screaming...at least they have the gall to make it an online tagline of sorts.

McDonald's in Malaysia is a very poor ripoff of the international Golden Arch chain. The food served is anything but fast. Quality for instance will have you served with a fish fillet burger that has hard crusty sides that makes you wonder if its because you're the first to order for the day and that's the leftover from sometime back (I wouldn't dare say its "overnite").

Compared to other joints or reputable outlets - there seems to be an awkward gap in the communication skills of the staff that's employed in McDonald's Malaysia. It's the only place in Malaysia I think besides the obvious mamak joints and some food courts where the official, common, and only language spoken is Bahasa Malaysia. It's rather embarrassing as a Malaysian to translate for a foreign guest and rather rude of the McDonald's staff to not answer in English. I however find it very comical to be engaged in this childish defiant play. At the same, HR hiring is restricted to a very un-Malaysian representation.

The best parts are,
1. KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken), Pizza Hut, and even Burger King hire better staff.
2. Their staff are more attentive.
3. They are also respectful in communication with better language skills.
4. They do not chat with their co-workers when serving a customer.

Now, McDonald's anyone? Awesome? I don't think so. Can't wait to share it? Definitely, so that others can read and see that their experience is not that much different. I'm lovin' it? No No No...

We Shall Overcome, Yes We Can: Barack Obama 2008

As I listen to CNN's live telecast of the victory speech by the man of the century, of change, of a new era, President Barack Obama, the first "black" President of the United States, I am inspired by his tag note of Yes We Can. It is the birth of a new era in world equality. It is a blessing to a world divided by differences.

Hopefully President BO shall overcome and lead the world to a better standing. People Power. Voice of the modern world thank you.

Congratulations many times over President BO. May you always remain blessed and true to your beliefs.

A Big Win for Barack Obama

It will not only be a big win for Barack Obama (BO) but for America as well should he win the Presidential Race. I've had CNN on live since last night and I'm keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that he really does win big.

BO believes in peace, justice, humanity, and social change, and although we are miles apart I share those same ideals as he.

As a world leader, America has a lot to prove and electing BO as the next President of the United States will cement their community as one that is truly a society above all discrimination, especially that of race and skin color. A free society, a free nation, and a free world awaits you BO. Kudos.

I Remember Well for the Reason, a Season, and a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh..
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life by reading this in my blog.
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Cups of Kindness

In such modern (actually I do think that we are regressing with the many wars, domestic and local violence that's happening in this world we call our own) times, find time to visualize yourself drinking and sharing from the Cups of Kindness. This is a reminder that by giving of ourselves, we also receive. Maintain a certain degree of generosity towards others. Do not judge others easily nor lightly. Become a tolerant person. The strongest and most important source of kindness is from within you. Playfulness, kindness, and innocence are all sources of energy and well-being.

Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak - Malaysia Prime Minister in Waiting

That does it.

Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak son of one of Malaysia's great political icons, Tun Abdul Razak bin Haji Dato' Hussein Al-Haj(March 11, 1922-January 14, 1976) who was the second Prime Minister of Malaysia ruling from 1970 to 1976, is set to become the next Prime Minister of Malaysia after his predecessor Pak Lah steps down next year. This is confirmed by the overwhelming support Datuk Seri Najib received with the 140 nominations he has garnered for the top post in UMNO. His sole contender Ku Li has only received 1 nomination to date.

Datuk Seri Najib's father Tun Razak was the Prime Minister responsible in setting up Barisan Nasional, the ruling coalition of political parties that have stayedin power in Malaysia till today. Tun Razak is also renowned for launching the Malaysian New Economic Policy (MNEP).

With Datuk Seri Najib taking on the role of our nation's top leader next year we look set to a sea of positive changes that will wash out the problems that have plagued us since the last change. Hopefully, the conditions of transparency, anti-corruption, and efficiency introduced by Pak Lah that brought about such problems will be reviewed and redefined to prevent its backlash from continuing into Datuk Seri Najib's tenure as the new Prime Minister of Malaysia.

As a Malaysian I am pleased that stability will once more return to our shores.