Car Accident Hassle

Reckless drivers in Malaysia are not a dying breed, although they should be. Instead, they seem to be increasing year on year. When accidents do occur it is already to late to be sorry and yet, these people do know but care little. There is no point in delving deeper into their sorry excuses for recklessness...

Share this story with others.

This writer was most unfortunate of late to be involved in a car accident (no fault of his). It could have been due to Monday blues erratic driving behavior but is that really a reason? Traffic on school days is normally busy with parents sending their kids to school. And, one of these in her Proton Wira unceremoniously rear-ended this writer's car. Apparently, she had decided to be in a rush and cut the long queue of cars; only to rear-end this writer's car when she cut in behind suddenly.

What followed was a bag of lies...

"Oh I'll pay for the repairs, don't you worry about it. Small matter. Don't make a police report", she said. This writer then had her call him on his mobile to register that her given contact number was correct.

It was a tedious process of getting the damage assessed that included numerous attempts to contact this woman.

Finally at his wit's end, this writer gave her the ultimatum of paying for the damage; failing which the accident will be reported to the police. "Oh that is so expensive. Let me contact my insurer for advice and please don't try to rush me, I need time. I'm only a blue collar worker and I stay in an apartment so I don't have that much of money. Don't make a report, I'll be fined by the police", she said. This writer wonders what happened to her earlier statement that she would pay...

She doesn't call back.

Her Third Party Claims contractor calls and informs this writer to proceed to the Balai Polis to lodge the accident report with his assurance that he will "settle" everything.

The report was made speedily. A Lance Corporal lady cop typed the report (is this a new service by the PDRM? If yes, it's a welcomed improvement!). This writer then sees the "Sarjan" and was given a short interview (apparently this new service meant that Sarjan need not view this writer's car as Sarjan kept seated). The photographer traffic policeman then took pictures of the writer's car.

To cut this long story short. 

2 options for the repairs were available. To get it fixed by the writer's car insurance panel repair workshop OR by the earlier mentioned Third Party Claims contractor. Wrong choice if you chose the latter.

Why?

If you are not in the wrong (meaning the police issues a traffic summons to the other party), it is a better option to get the repairs done at your car insurance panel repair workshop. They will process everything from getting the Loss/Claims Adjuster to documentation and repairs. At the end of it all your car insurance company will claim against driver-at-fault's car insurance. Also, you may complain (aided by your car insurance company since it's their panel workshop) if the repairs is unsatisfactory. No brainer really.

A third party claims contractor? He most probably claims the same amount from the driver-at-fault's car insurance and do not replace with new. Their trick to entice you? Zero payment required from you and speedy "repairs".

Lessons learned:

1. Always settle on the spot and never allow the person who is in the wrong get away.
2. Jot down the driver details, i.e. car registration number, name and NRIC number and contact number.
3. Proceed to the nearest police station to lodge a report. Note: All traffic accidents must be reported within 24hours.
4. Never trust any other workshop aside from those on the panel list of your car insurance company.

This writer is currently still waiting for his car to be returned by the third party claims contractor, so to all you reckless Malaysian drivers out there: May the inconvenience you cause to others be multiplied many times over unto you! Grrr....

Building a Better World with Mozilla

Watch The Mozilla Story today to see how you can help build a better world through the efforts of Mozilla.

See how Mozilla protects privacy, user choice and freedom on the Web with the tools they create and the training they provide to help us in return make the Web a place we want. Don't just watch the video YouTube @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ4DJgfPed4, do your part by making a donation today to this worthy cause.

Go to https://donate.mozilla.org/page/contribute/openwebfund and see how every dollar you donate can make a difference and support a Mozilla Project. Questions? Visit their FAQ site at http://www.mozilla.org/foundation/donate_faq.html or send an e-mail to donations@mozilla.org for more information.

The Web should be safe, open and accessible for all...

All contributions go to the Mozilla Foundation, a 501(c)(3) organization and is used in its dicretion for its charitable purposes. They are tax-deductible in the U.S. to the fullest extent permitted by U.S. law. This blogger is in no way affiliated to Mozilla but truly believes in the headway efforts of the creators of Firefox.

American Fractures Penis in Malaysia

Sex can hurt but so can love. Who would ever imagine that any man or creature endowed with the stated organ above can actually fracture it while having sex. Much as I would like to say Malaysia Boleh for a first known case in Malaysia, it is nothing to be proud of -- well at least Malaysia made the news, again.

Apparently, such cases are not uncommon and has occurred before in Malaysia. The injury happens when the tissue trapping blood during an erection breaks when bent. A cracking sound is heard followed by intense pain and flaccidity. There is only 6-10 hours time for repair surgery before there is irreversible damage. Doctors' say -- avoid vigorous sex to minimize risk of injury, not that some listen anyway...

30-year old American, Ray Elbe, a mixed martial arts (MMA) exponent is the proud character in this organ-chilling tale. Eking out a living by teaching Brazilian and mixed martial arts at a studio in Ara Damansara, poor Ray "fractured" his "little treasure" having sex with his girlfriend on December 3. Ouch!


According to Ray, "I jumped out from that intimate moment with blood shooting out from my groin. I tried to run to the shower and felt myself losing consciousness".

After collapsing, Ray ended up with 10 stitches to his chin and several chipped teeth. Fortunately, he is expected to fully recover as the injury did not involve a major artery. Unfortunately, he had to pay in excess of Ringgit Malaysia Seventeen Thousand (RM17,000++) for his stay in the hospital.

Ray now hopes to sell his story and pictures to recover some of the cost. Any takers?

The New and Trendy MINI Watch 3D in Style

Timepieces, Watches and Jewelry...move over Gangnam Style!



Malaysia's latest fashion fun watches has got to be the from Korea, now introducing The MINI Watch from Korea.

The MINI Watch is fun & fashionable and extremely artistic. Each watch design features lovable themes that virtually pops out from a hand-crafted engraved dial. While others are calling The MINI Watch collection the loveliest and cutest of all worldwide, some watch enthusiasts are deeming it the new 3D Watch of the century, and I do agree so *after checking out TwinkleTimeKL*.



TwinkleTimeKL on Facebook is currently selling for a limited time at an introductory price, these simply-must-haves, for about Ringgit Malaysia Seventy Five (RM75/=) a piece; which is a good deal and I saved at least 40-50% compared elsewhere.

The MINI Watch could well become a collector's item easily as it's affordable and attractive. There are also many individualistic designs to choose from and to wear for different occasions *a fashion statement, dress watch or fun watch, you decide*.


Now that's The MINI Watch for you (and me)!

Find out more or how to get your MINI Watch in Malaysia at http://www.facebook.com/twinkletimekl

This blogger is normally quite reserved and against all form of promotion but TwinkleTimeKL deserves it.

Malaysia's 55th Independence Day

I was very lucky being a student in a local primary school many years ago when called for "active duty" to partake in the Malaysia Merdeka Day procession at Dataran Merdeka.

Vivid memories of that day remain till this day...except for the theme we had for that year. Embarrassing as it was, I had even kept my "souvenir" T-Shirt for many years even after outgrowing it. This year's theme happens to be Janji Ditepati (Promises Fulfilled) and has proven to be quite controversial as many quarters has depicted it to be more political than patriotic and not in the spirit of independence. 

It, the theme has always if not mostly, reflected the aspirations and goals of the people. Positively I'm taking it as a reminder to be a citizen of Malaysia who shall uphold my promises to others and work towards fulfilling them. That's how I see it! Enough said!

Let us travel back in time to the eve of the first Merdeka, August 30th, 1957:

Kuala Lumpur - Crowds of people from all walks of life are starting to gather at the Royal Selangor Club Padang (later named Dataran Merdeka with a massive flagpole erected to hoist the Malaysia Flag and still manages to evoke strong feelings in me of Merdeka and it's meaning whenever I drive through).

The event? To witness the handover ceremony from the British to our beloved Bapa Kemerdekaan, Tunku Abdul Rahman. At the stroke of midnight, the Union Jack was lowered and the Flag of Malaysia was raised as our NegaraKu (national anthem) was played. This was followed by seven chants of 'Merdeka'.

On Merdeka Day morning, August 31st, 1957 at the just completed Merdeka Stadium over 20,000 people attended and witnessed the reading of the Proclamation of Independence by our Bapa Kemerdekaan. This was followed by the raising of the Flag of Malaysia accompanied by the NegaraKu and a 21-gun salute.

Back to this day (August 30th, 2012), I'm sitting at home merrily typing away and reminiscing about the good old days. Glad too that traffic on the way home wasn't too stressful despite it being the eve of such an important day for Malaysia and having had a wonderful dinner with the family.

Peace to you Malaysia!

P/S: Best thing about Merdeka? Waking up and turning on the telly for the live telecast.

How to lodge a complaint

First and foremost, decide if there is justifiable cause for you to complain and whether it will get you the result that you desire. 

In this wonderful country Malaysia, I find that many of the service and/or product providers are if I may dare say so lackadaisical in their approach in handling complains that there brought to their attention (most don't even bother to acknowledge the complaint, think KFC, PizzaHut, Harvey Norman etc).

Perhaps it's the pride factor (I'm never wrong?) or maybe it's how many complains are written or made verbally when the person complaining is not in the "right" frame of mind. Believe me...I know because I've handled many complaints before.

Whatever and however, the best method to make known your dissatisfaction is to do it face to face and in front of the right person. Got it? You should try to RESOLVE your issue with the respective person or company before making it known in writing. Besides, it will serve as a reference that you have already attempted to resolve the issue but couldn't and hence the written complaint.

Alright and enough said. Now that you fave miserably failed to get their attention and expected desired response, the following information is important when you write-in:

1. General information such as your name and other pertinent contact details; and

2. Complaint Information - indicate location, date, time, cause of complaint and person(s) involved.

Always be clear and concise. Provide relevant facts in an orderly manner and avoid unnecessary details or repetition. Attach supporting evidence (if available). Last but not least, indicate a time that you would like to receive a response.

There is never a right way or a wrong way but there is a good way about how you go about getting things done or your ideas across. So best of luck!

What is 33388 SMS, Read the Fine Print or Be Charged

How to cancel 33388 free services?

If you have ever been charged for mobile messages, especially from 33388?

Give up?

Next time, read the fine print before accepting any so-called "free" offers. A friend of mine painfully learned his lesson by having all the prepaid credit in his Hotlink and Digi numbers drained out. Funny thing is, calling the mobile operator to cancel/block the "services" from 33388 does not work as no action is taken...

 Sample courtesy of 1Malaysia Voucher link:

This is a Djugo service. Djugo is not affiliated with, sponsored by or endorsed by any of the listed products or retailers. Trademarks, service marks, logos, (including, without limitation, the individual names of products and retailers) are the property of their respective owners. |You will be charged for all questions received by you (save for marketing SMS) including the first question is chargeable at RM4.00. | By answering a question, you will trigger the next question also chargeable at RM4.00 per question received by you.| Answer as many questions as possible to accumulate highest score at campaign closing date to win the prize.| No additional chargeable question will be sent if you do not answer the previous question. | There is no maximum amount of questions to be answered |Additional data and SMS charges may apply | Age: 18+ only - ask bill payer's permission | Helpdesk: 03 – 2175 4700 (9.30am – 5.30pm (Mon – Fri) | By sending an SMS to 33388, you acknowledge that you have read and understood the ‘General Terms & Conditions’ and agreed to be bound by these 'General Terms & Conditions'. | Closing date of the campaign: Friday, 1 June, 2012, 11:59 pm +8GMT. | Service Provider: Ericsson (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd.

TO STOP, send a message in reply to 33388 with the text OUT. In return you should get a reply that says they acknowledge and will stop sending any messages.

Good Luck,  you'll need it.

Footnote: Gimmicks WILL come in all shapes and sizes SO if it's FREE (most probably and often not) -- consider all before you accept anything.

A tribute to a living legend, now gone - Steve Jobs

Wednesday, October 5 2011 marks the saddest day in the lives of many people. Steve Jobs the man who brought Apple to it's shiniest and brightest moments left the world at the age of 56. Details of his long battle with pancreatic cancer - a disease that ultimately claimed him remains unknown.

He was more than just the man behind the Mac and iPhone. Even in Malaysia now, one cannot help but hear the tributes on radio and coffee shop chit chats. Even Twitter at the time of this posting remains inaccessible, possible due to overwhelming tweet traffic.

He believed in himself. Despite having the odds against him, he believed in himself. He believed in his vision. He believed that he could change the way we communicate. He believed he could make a difference. And he did.

 This past week we said goodbye to Steve Jobs - the co-founder of Apple who revolutionized the way we communicate, work and play. But life was never easy for him and the only reason Jobs succeeded is because he believed in himself.

 He didn't let the naysayers stop him. He didn't let the doubters hold him back.

 He dropped out of school because he couldn't afford the tuition. He collected used soda cans and returned them to collect the deposit money. He walked 7 miles just so he could get a hot meal from a shelter. But all along he believed in himself and his vision. He never gave up. When he slept on a cold hard floor with only a blanket he didn't give up.

 Through all those years of struggle, Steve Jobs directed his mind, his subconscious mind and his powers to follow his vision. That vision and belief was planted on his subconscious mind, success was sure to follow. And did it ever.

When he passed away on Wednesday - Steve Jobs was a billionaire, surrounded by his family. He built one of the most valuable companies in the world and he made a big difference.

 Steve Jobs was born in San Francisco on February 24, 1955. He was adopted shortly after his birth and reared near Mountain View, California by a couple named Clara and Paul Jobs. His adoptive father was a machinist for a laser company and his mother worked as an accountant.

 He leaves behind three children from his marriage to Laurene Jobs (Reed, Erin, and Eve), as well as his first daughter, Lisa Brennan-Jobs.

 Rest in eternal peace Steve Jobs... there will be no other like you...

The Perfect Out-of-Office Autoreply

I am currently out of the office on vacation.

I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email and won’t be able to respond until I return — but that’s not true. My blackberry will be with me and I can respond if I need to. And I recognize that I’ll probably need to interrupt my vacation from time to time to deal with something urgent.

That said, I promised my wife that I am going to try to disconnect, get away and enjoy our vacation as much as possible. So, I’m going to experiment with something new. I’m going to leave the decision in your hands:

• If your email truly is urgent and you need a response while I’m on vacation, please resend it to interruptyourvacation@[redacted].com and I’ll try to respond to it promptly.
• If you think someone else at [the company] might be able to help you, feel free to email my assistant, and she’ll try to point you in the right direction.

· Otherwise, I’ll respond when I return…

Warm regards,

Josh

Josh Kopelman, hat's off man!

Intuition, use it or lose it!

"Where is that darn sheet of paper?" I kept asking myself.I looked everywhere (or so I thought) but couldn't find it anywhere.A few days ago I got an important phone call and had to write down some crucial information and follow up within a few days.

I jotted everything down on a piece of paper and left it beside my computer on my desk (or so I thought).But I went looking for it and it wasn't there. "Where is that darn sheet of paper?"

I kept asking myself.I looked and looked and couldn't find it.Was it in the trash?Actually it was right in front of me all along and had I listened to my intuition I could have saved myself a lot of time.

Everyday our intuition guides us, helps us, tries to save us some time, sends little messages that will make life better for us if we listened and followed. But most of us (myself included) don't always listen to that little voice. We don't always follow what it says.It will say something, we may hear or recognize the message, but then we get distracted and we forget about it, only to realize later "should have listened to that voice. "That voice is our intuition. It's like our best friend; it only says and does things to help you.

It only wants to make your life easier and more enjoyable.Once you know how to ask your intuition for guidance you'll get the right responses and the right instructions.Then you have to listen and follow, which is where most people fail. That only happens because your conscious mind, that rational thinking part of you, doesn't always agree with your intuition and will often put up a fight, give some resistance and try to get you to do the exact opposite of what your intuition wants you to do.

But once you know how to respond, life gets easier and you get more of what you want.How do you tap into your intuition? How do you get the right answers so that you get more of what you want? And how do you follow your intuition so that things work out?

Let's go back to my sheet of paper that I just couldn't find. I needed that piece of paper. It had some important information. Earlier in the day I was playing with my 3-year old son who was making me chase him around the house, he gets a big laugh out of that.

I spotted him in a room where he was holding a piece of paper. At the time I wasn't looking for that piece of paper but wanted to see what he had. Something told me it might be important (that was my intuition trying to save me some time). I tried to get the piece of paper from him but he thought it was part of the fun and ran off.

I later spotted him stuffing the piece of paper into a box and when I went towards him he laughed and ran off again.

I got caught up in his game (and the fun) and kept chasing him.Something told me (that intuition again) to go back and see what that piece of paper was (we don't leave too many thing lying around with a set of 3-year old twins and a one year old reaching and grabbing anything). But I got distracted, kept playing with him and forgot about it.

Later that day I was looking for that important piece of paper, the one I had left on my desk next to my computer (you know where this is going).I knew that paper existed. I had seen it a day earlier. But it wasn't there.I kept asking: "Where is that darn piece of paper?"It had to be in the house or in the garbage.I searched the house (so I thought) and couldn't find it. Now it was time to check the trash (oh, how I hate doing that), which was just like giving up since I knew it wasn't in the trash, but I had to check anyway. Just as I was opening the garbage bag my wife said:"Hey wait a minute. Was it a lined piece of paper?". "Yes it was.""I thought I saw something in a box, let me take a look. "Then it hit me.

My son had stuffed a piece of paper in the box that I was supposed to check to see if it was anything important only I got distracted and forgot about it (that was my intuition guiding me again). My wife checked the piece of paper and sure enough..."Here it is..."My son had grabbed the piece of paper off my desk and stuffed it in a box. Those of you who have kids are probably laughing at this because something similar has probably happened in the past. But that's not my point.

My point is that earlier in the day, while I was playing with my son, my intuition
showed me the piece of paper that I would need later in the day.I even got a feeling/message to go back and check that piece of paper to see what it was; but I didn't follow up and I didn't follow the intuitive message.So now I needed that paper, and had to get my intuition to help me. I knew the paper existed.

I kept asking for it when I said: "where's that darn piece of paper?"I trusted and let go when I decided to check the garbage (the last spot to check) even though I knew it could never be in the garbage. While I was heading outside check the trash I said to myself: "Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait until they call me back and ask why I didn't follow up. I'll simply tell them the truth and deal with the consequences, that's all I can do. "What happened is a clear example of how our intuition is always communicating with us and guiding us. It also shows how we can communicate with our intuition to get help when we need it.

Here's how it works:

First realize that what you want already exists. It's here, its in this world, you're within reach of it all you have to do is find it. So decide what guidance or information you want. Realize that the answers already exist.If you want something in particular like a better job, a new relationship, a new home or trying to find an important document, realize that what you want already exists.

This is very important. Because if you don't believe it exists you'll never see it, even if it stands up and slaps you in the face. Next, ask for what you want.I kept saying where is that darn sheet of paper?

I also kept saying what did I do with it? Where did I put it? What happened to it?If you want the right job, ask for it. Say: I want the right job, where is the right job for me?

I know it exists so where is it? I want the right job.Then let go. Tell yourself you've found what you want and leave it alone.I let go when I accepted that I couldn't find that piece of paper, but decided to check the trash anyway.

I also said to myself: "I guess I'll just have to wait until they call me back and ask why I never followed up. I'll simply tell them I misplaced the information and deal with the consequences."

That's when I let go of it.Within a few minutes of letting go, my wife called out to me when she found a piece of paper with some notes on it. The paper was found.You need to let go and you do that by realizing that your happiness does not depend
on something happening in your life and that you'll find a solution.

Your happiness doesn't depend on whether you have a job or not.

Your happiness does not depend on whether you are in a relationship or not.If you want to be happy, be happy.

Focus on positive things and let go of what you want. Then it will flow to you easily.So think about what you want.

Know that what you want exists already.

Ask for what you want.

Let go of it by accepting that your happiness doesn't depend on you having what you want. Get your intuition working for you today.

Develop your intuition, this is a powerful partner who can make your life easier and guide you to success.

Your subconscious mind and your intuition work together, always bringing you what you want.

Your intuition is your powerful partner. It is always guiding you and bringing you answers everyday. You just need to see them and recognize the guidance you're getting.

You ask your intuition by using your thoughts. It brings you what you want based on what you think about. So think about what you want. Believe in yourself. Believe in your ability.

You are a powerful human being, capable of creating what ever you want in life. You can achieve your goals. You can succeed. You can live your dreams. You can enjoy a better life. Get your intuition and your subconscious mind to help you create more of what you want.

Everything you want already exists.

[courtesy of Karim Hajee]

Keep the Peace for Your Own Sake

A tiny little thing sets you off. You know you're being totally unreasonable, but at the moment, you don't care. You rant you rave and behave like a child throwing a tantrum...

You have to put things in perspective.

Otherwise...think about waking up alone. Permanently.

In support of keeping the peace!

Google+ by Google, Inc.

Google+ is in limited Field Trial still since it's launch on June 28th, 2011... (I should know, I'm waiting patiently as you are)...

Seen now (no longer a rumor) as a great replacement to Facebook, Google+, a social network operated by Google, Inc., allows great integration across a number of Google products that include Buzz and Profiles.

One key element of Google+ is it's focus on targeted sharing within subsets of your social group, which Google calls Circles. Circles are simply smaller groups of people that you can share to, each with names like friends, family, classmates and co-workers.

In Google+, there's a section specifically for viewing, managing and editing multimedia. The photo tab takes a user to all of the photos he or she has shared, as well as the ones he or she is tagged in. It’s not just about photo tagging. An image editor (complete with Instagram-like photo effects), privacy options and sharing features is incorporated too.

And here's how I think Google+ beats Facebook -- the super cool “Hangouts,” Google’s new group chat feature. Un"like" Facebook (pardon the pun) where you normally would directly ask a friend to join a group chat, Google-plusers click “start a hangout” and they’re instantly in a video chatroom alone. At the same time, a message goes out to their social circles, letting them know that their friend is “hanging out.” Friends can then join the hangout as long as they have been placed in a circle that was invited by the person who created the Hangout.

At the moment, Google+ is testing with a small number of people, but it won't be long before the Google+ project is ready for everyone.

Interested? Leave your email address at the link above (title) so that you'll be the first to know when Google+ is ready for you.

Malaysia Government Petrol Subsidy

Shown here in a picture taken over the weekend is Malaysia's subsidy which includes tax exemption for Petrol RON 95 and Diesel. Can we ask for more and by the way -- does this "notice" makeup for the way in which everything else is more pricey?

What the Server Market Will Look Like in 5 Years

Today, the enterprise requires the data center to handle top business workloads, run broad hardware options, and operate stable product roadmaps.

In order to increase performance and lower cost, CIOs are looking to consolidate their mission-critical applications on fewer, faster servers and to virtualize those applications to make more efficient utilization of their data center resources, both human and natural.

All the best in your plan for a high-performance, low-cost application solution that fits your data center needs.

Focus on the Positive

Instead of worrying about what might go wrong, think about what might go right.

Think about how things could work out for you.

Think about how you can improve your life, or try to find solutions.

When you do this you direct your mind and subconscious mind
to regularly focus on the positive things in your life.

Pay attention to your thoughts. How?

Observe them - and analyze them.

Ask yourself: "Does this thought or belief work for me?

Does it help me?

Does it make me feel better?"

If the answer is no, then you have to change it.

You can change the thought by simply thinking of the opposite or creating a new thought that
helps you create what you want.

For example: If you're constantly thinking about why you're not good enough or why you can't achieve something - change those thoughts.

Think about why you are good enough and why you can achieve something.

As you regularly think about why you can do something you'll start to believe that you can achieve that goal.

The minute you begin to believe that you can do something your subconscious mind goes out and
creates the situations to help you achieve that goal.

Start changing your thoughts today. Live Life, Love Life people.

Pay your Electrical Bill on time, or Else

The following account bears no reference to any person, dead or alive...

Mr. Sharma comes home one night and his wife throws her arms around his neck: I have great news... I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!!! The doctor gave me a test today but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?"

"Yes... Speaking"

AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!!!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files... HOW???"

Yes... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"

"GOD!!!... this is too much..."

"Madam, I am sorry... I am following orders, I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that... let me talk to my husband about this tonight, he will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on??? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue??? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, Sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Rupert Murdoch's Text Apology

Under a large headline "We are sorry," the piece will contain the following message, according to the text obtained by Reuters. It is signed at the bottom by Murdoch himself.

"The News of the World was in the business of holding others to account. It failed when it came to itself.

"We are sorry for the serious wrongdoing that occurred. We are deeply sorry for the hurt suffered by the individuals affected.

"We regret not acting faster to sort things out. I realize that simply apologizing is not enough.

"Our business was founded on the idea that a free and open press should be a positive force in society. We need to live up to this.

"In the coming days, as we take further concrete steps to resolve these issues and make amends for the damage they have caused, you will hear more from us.

"Sincerely, Rupert Murdoch"

My e-mail from News of the World

Dear .....

It is with great regret that we write to inform you that after 168 years we will publish the final edition of the News of the World this Sunday.

You will know that the paper has a proud history of fighting crime, exposing wrong-doing and regularly setting the news agenda for the nation.

However, in recent times the good things that the News of the World have done have been sullied by behaviour that was wrong and inexcusable.

As a result, the very difficult decision to close down the paper and notw.co.uk has been made.

Advertising space in this last edition of the paper will be donated to good causes and charities and all revenues will go to organisations that improve life in Britain and are devoted to treating others with dignity.

As a result of this decision, notw.co.uk will be open to the public for free for our final edition on Sunday 10th July. If you have already paid for access to the sites for this weekend and have outstanding credit on your account, we will contact you shortly and arrange a refund within the next 28 days.

If you have any other questions please email help@notw.co.uk

Thank you for reading the News of the World.

Yours sincerely,

The News of the World