Living A Better Life

You don’t like your life? Change it!

Change your life for the better! Don’t have any clue on how to do it?

Here’s a list of 100 ways in which you can improve your life.

Without further ado, let’s go.

1. Accept Your Mistakes
You’re human. We, humans, are making mistakes. Accept what you did wrong and try to do better next time. No need to punish yourself forever. In fact, accepting your mistakes is the only way to make them disappear.

2. Accept Your Friends Mistakes
Maybe you got hurt by somebody. Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. People are making mistakes and if you can accept that for yourself, accept it for your friends too. In the end, all you need from them is their love.

3. Create A New Habit
We’re doing a lot of stuff on autopilot. Try to integrate in this category new things you want to attract into your life. Habits are powerful. Harness their energy for your own good. Start by creating a habit in 15 days.

4. Build Self Discipline
Don’t wait for other people to impose discipline on you. Start early. Create your own discipline. Although it sounds a little bit harsh, self discipline is a facilitator for many things in your life. It’s hard to get but great to have.

5. Make New Friends
Reach out. Don’t be afraid. Establish new contacts. The worst thing that may happen to you is to be rejected. Well, if that’s the case, move on. The reward of having true, long-lasting friendship is worth all the potential rejection.

6. Get A New Job
Shaking your comfort zone will often create a lot of value in your life. If you’re not satisfied with your job, just get a new one. The pitfall of not having money for a limited period of time is temporary, get over it.

7. Start A New Diet
You are, in a vast proportion, what you eat. Trying a new diet would often be the only needed change for a dramatic boost of your health and energy. Don’t necessarily have to be raw food, or even vegetarian, whatever works for you.

8. Keep A Journal
Write down you feelings, your ideas, your goals, your activity. Journaling is by far one of the most useful things I’ve done to change my life for the best. It works in such a silent, yet effective way. All you need is pen and paper.

9. Create And Keep A Morning Phrase
Whatever you say to yourself in the morning, it will most likely come true during the day. Why not taking advantage of it? Create a simple morning phrase and say it to yourself first thing in the morning. Is that simple.

10. Travel Far Away From Your Home
Traveling long distance is incredibly rewarding. It’s so exciting and full with unknown events. I only recently started to travel really far away from my home, but I do wonder how could I ever made it until now without this.

11. Learn To Take Risks
Your life may be so boring and fade because… err, you made it like this? When was the last time your tried something really difficult? When was the last time you challenged the odds doing something risky? Do it now.

12. Start Your Own Business
Be your own boss. Work your own hours. I know, it sounds so shallow, for you, who hate your job but still have to stay there because of that mortgage. Well, unless you make the first step, nothing is going to change. That’s for sure.

13. Change Your Work Space
Clean up your desk. Re-arrange furniture. Add some color to that space. Make the place where you work really enjoyable. So enjoyable that work there won’t be perceived as work anymore. It will be something you love to do.

14. Learn A New Language
Challenge your mind. Constantly. If you’re going to do number 10, you’re going to learn some new languages too. From my experience, learning a new language is a fantastic mind opener. Sometimes you don’t even have to travel there.

15. Find Reasons To Agree
Rather than disagree. We have this mindset of competition which makes constantly arguing over things. Well, stop that. You don’t have to force yourself into agreement, if it’s not the case, just trying to find some reasons will be enough.

16. Pay Yourself First
You can’t give something if you don’t have it. You can’t spread light onto others if you don’t have light from within. You can’t give wealth to others if you don’t have it for yourself first. Make yourself a service and pay yourself first.

17. Wake Up Early
This is not a habit, this is a lifestyle. Don’t just wake up early without a purpose. Be early. Be there before others. Look for opportunities and embrace them. Waking up early means keeping your eye open to every available opportunity.

18. Train Your Focus
Your focus is in fact your reality. Use it wisely. Train it constantly for it will enhance your reality in ways you never imagined. Keep your focus sharp as a razor blade and be prepared to experience life in fantastic shapes and colors.

19. Start A Blog
On whatever topic you want. Not only it will give you the opportunity to create something new and valuable but it will also bring new people into your life. Blogging is far more than a hype, is a personal development tool. A very good one.

20. Write An Ebook
You may think you don’t have a talent, but that’s completely wrong. And the easiest way to prove it wrong is to start writing an ebook. Any ebook. You pick the topic. It might be something you know or want to learn about. Write it. It’s fun.

21. Be Better, Not Perfect
Striving too much for perfection will ruin your life. It will wipe out all those little imperfections which are making you… human. Being better, on the other side, is rewarding. Look back at the yesterday you and just say: I’m better!

22. Stop Self Sabotage
You’ll be surprised by how much of a burden you can be to yourself. You are literally self sabotaging. Most of the time, unconsciously. If you have a long history of failure behind, that could mean you’ve become your worst enemy. Stop it.

23. Find Reasons To Love Your Life
Maybe life wasn’t fair with you. Yes, I know, I’ve been there: life is never fair. But it’s fantastic. It’s unique, unrepeatable, one of a kind, beautiful, simple, challenging, sweet, hard… Just take a step back and find reasons to love your life.

24. Try Something New
Maybe you’re sad because you’re bored. Have you ever thought about that? Just reach out and try something completely new. Go for a challenge, learn a new sport, pick a different restaurant or go for a comedy movie (if you’re the drama type). Just try it.

25. Avoid Fighting
Fighting is the biggest energy leak of your being. Trying to prove another guy wrong is so against your true nature. You’re here to acknowledge life’s wonders, not to prove anybody’s wrong. They’re not wrong, just have different opinions. And that’s part of life.

26. Stop Wasting Your Power
Are you doing something that you think you shouldn’t be doing right now? Well, that’s wasted power. That’s meaningless stuff promoted to the honor of being a part of your life. How long are you going to approve this? Why wasting power?

27. Learn To Ignore
I think they should be teaching this one in schools. We’re so focused on so many topics and think we have to do so many stuff, that our life is literally clogged with stuff. It’s good to do stuff, but learning to ignore stuff is much better.

28. Experiment Gratitude
When was the last time you said “thank you”? With all your heart? Everybody knows that an attitude of gratitude is the key to success, but almost nobody practices it. Well, start by experience gratitude first, and take it from there.

29. Recycle Your Aggression
Don’t throw it away, recycle it! Use it for something you really want! Call out those wild forces inside of you and put them to work. Aggression is part of your being, so don’t try to reject it, because it will only grow stronger. Recycle your aggression.

30. Release Your Guardians
Don’t touch that! Don’t eat that! Don’t go for that opportunity! Those are the sentences you hear when going for something you really want. Those are your guardians, your mental constructs made to protect you. Release them, you’ll be much better off.

31. Clean Up Your House
It’s fun. And it’s good for you. Make a habit out of cleaning up your house with joy and happiness. What’s outside is a mirror of what’s inside. If your house is a mess, probably your internal life is a disaster. Neat that stuff, it’s easy.

32. Write A Personal Mission Statement
You’re here with a reason. No matter how small you feel now, how insignificant others may made you feel, you have a purpose. Take the time to write your personal mission statement. It will bring light and direction into your life.

33. Dissolve Negative Opinions About Yourself
Whatever you think you may do, it’s half of what you can really do. And that’s because you have so many negative opinions about yourself. You can solve them. Just accept the fact that you have them and then start working on them.

34. Build Different Skills
Don’t stop learning. Don’t remain stuck in a single career, it’s boring and limiting. Learn different skills, possibly from completely unrelated fields. You never know when life will ask you to use them. Besides, it’s a lot of fun.

35. Manage Your Time As You Manage Your Money
Have you ever thought what would be if you would manage your time the same way you manage your money? Just give it a try. See where you spend most of your time, what the return of investment is and how rich are you in time.

36. Exercise
You don’t have to break the world record, or something. Just make sure you exercise constantly. It will make your body healthier and your mind clearer. It’s also one of the simplest and most affordable ways to improve your life.

37. Be A Parent
Having kids doesn’t necessarily means you’re a parent, and I know that very well. Being a parent will surely change your life forever: filling it with unconditional, life lasting love, care and warm feelings. You’ll live in love. And learn.

38. Throw Away One Object A Day From Your House
Maybe your life is breathing so hard just because it’s suffocated by objects. Learn to let them go. You may donate them, give to charity or simply throw them away, but don’t let the clutter stay in your way. You’re not the objects you have.

39. Read A Book Per Week
Or, alternatively, a fine selection of blogs. That will keep your mind alert and your focus steady. Reading is like good food for your brain, without it, it will go lazy, obese and unresponsive. But with the proper food it can become your best friend.

40. Start A Monthly Challenge
Being it physical, mental or social. Intend to acquire something new in your life in 30 days. Improve your health using new methods, or your relationships by starting new things together. Make it count. And count on it.

41. Call An Old Friend
It’s enlightening to meet somebody you haven’t talk to in the last years. Go right now and call an old friend, or a relative. It will bring up memories and it will create new opportunities. Don’t let the dust settle on your relationships.

42. Follow A Coincidence
Well, there aren’t any coincidences, I lied. Everything has a purpose. If you witness something which may seem like a coincidence, then you’re very lucky, you just got a sign. Follow it with trust, it will lead you well.

43. Play A Game
Any game. Just play. Like a child. Allow yourself to do something just for fun, without any goals, pressures or deadlines. Will make you understand that everything is a game. Sometimes a little bit harder, but still a game..

44. Forgive Somebody Out Of The Blue
Don’t hold that grudge for that past insult. Grudges are heavy and tend to make the take off for a new life a little bit difficult. The longer you hold that grudge, the more difficult the take off will be. Forgiveness will lift you off.

45. Stop Solving The Wrong Problems
You are not here to witness the bad things in your life. Nor the performance in itself. You are here to enjoy a journey. To become aware, To grow. So, stop solving the wrong problem and focus on what really matters.

46. Make Peace With An Old Enemy
That’s more than forgiveness, that’s the actual process of reversing a situation. Make peace with somebody. Turn it into your friend. I’m not saying this is easy, I know it first hand. But I also know it works. Enemies count down, friends count up.

47. Make A Promise To A Close Person And Keep It
It doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be for someone special. It doesn’t have to be difficult also. But it has to be a commitment to somebody. Just reach out, make a promise, keep it and then enjoy the feeling after.

48. Break Up With A Person You Don’t Really Like
Maybe you’re friend with somebody just by habit, chemistry being dead for a long time now. Just break it up. Tell him. Ok, let’s unfriend us, this will not work. It will bring up something you thought you lost it long ago: courage.

49. Get A Thing You Wanted For A Long Time
But you didn’t had time or money to get it. Just go out and get it. Not only it will boost your self-respect, but it will also free your desire channel, which may be a little bit clogged by having one and only one desire for such a long time.

50. Stop Being Judgmental
With others AND with you. Excessive criticism will kill your enthusiasm. And if you think this post is something you shouldn’t read in the first place, then, my friend, you really are judgmental. Lighten up. Accept life as it is.

51. Change Your Wardrobe
You don’t know how much are you tied to what you wear. If you’re on the gray loving side, put some color in your clothes. If you’re on the black and white, try some gradients. Of course, your clothes are not you. Hence, they’re so easy to change, right?

52. Smile At Least 10 Times A Day
And I mean it, start to count that. Smiling is a sign of honesty and power. Everybody can cry over a disaster but only the most powerful can take bitterness with a smile. Exercise that power. And then try to go for 20 times a day.

53. Burn Some Old Memories
Maybe the notebook from your 7th grade? Maybe the teenage dumb poetry you wrote? Whatever it might be, break up. It might be difficult, but it might also be a sign that you’re so attached to the past that you can’t advance in your life anymore.

54. Plant A Tree
Or take care of a flower. Do it for at least several months. It will give you a sense of potential. Seeing that tree or that flower growing will make your self-confidence go up. If a flower can make it, why can’t I? Of course you can, now do it!

55. Move To Another Town Or Country
Maybe it’s time to change the environment? Take the plunge, move over. Pick another town or even another country. Like all the good stuff, it might be pretty difficult in the beginning, but you can bet it would shake everything really good!

56. Join A New Group
Go to a bikers meeting. Or, if you’re not a biker, to a toastmaster meeting. Join a group and see how you fit in. It will help if the group will be focused on some of your passions, of course. It will reveal a lot about your social skills.

57. Stop Watching TV
Television evolved a lot from the balanced news provider it was in the beginning up to the current manipulating tool. Just stop watching it for a week. And then for a month. Meanwhile, assess your psychological progress. You may be amazed.

58. Start A Totally Unexpected Hobby
Start making trains out of matches. Raise cobras. Put tiny vessels into tiny bottles. Do whatever it takes to move your mind from your problems for a while. And if you can create something nice in the process, why not doing it?

59. Randomly Hug A Stranger On The Street
Ok, this might be a little bit dangerous, but only if you think at it. If you’re doing it, chances are that you’re going to get your hug back. It will also help raising your adrenaline up to levels you never had for a very long time.

60. Set Up A Surprise Party
For your or for a friend. It’s always good for your mood, even if – or especially if – you’re down. Do a thematic one, invite friends and tell them to bring their friends. And then expect to meet new, wonderful persons. And of course, have fun.

61. Go Hiking
Do it for at least one week-end. Nature is more powerful than our human created environment. We don’t know how to channel the energy into our artificial habitats. If you want to recharge, go outside and stay in connection with the wilderness.

62. Get A Pet
Whatever works for you, a bird, a guinea pig, a dog or a cat. It will keep you alert and it will cheer you up when you’re down. Taking care of a pet is also easier if you’re overwhelmed with human interaction. Even from a pet, love is still love.

63. Write A Thank You Letter
You can send it or not, the real catch is to write it. Pick someone who helped you in the past. Start writing the letter and say everything you want to say to that person. It will make you understand what are you really grateful for in your life.

64. Meditate Daily
It’s the easiest thing you can do. True mediation acts like a mind emptier, leaving you open to the whole flow of the sensations and experiences you would otherwise ignore. You don’t even need a complicated technique, meditate as you see fit.

65. Say Something Nice To Somebody
Just like that. Out of the blue. Pick an unknown person and say something nice. After the initial surprise you’ll be amazed by the unmasked joy and gratitude they’re expressing. Admit it: you would like that too, isn’t it?

66. Say Something Nice To You
Ok, but if nobody is telling you nice things, why not start this yourself? Do it in whatever form you think it’s appropriate: send yourself emails, write in your calendar or leave yourself nice postits on the desk. With something nice just for you.

67. When I Doubt, Improvise
Being so scared for not knowing the answer, so nervous that you may screw thins up… I know the feeling, I’ve been there too. Just go with the flow. Improvise. It will be so good for your unconscious mind. The real answer will be surprising.

68. Don’t Argue, Win Or Lose
This goes hand in hand with avoiding the fight, but it’s a little bit different. If you get caught in an argument, just accept that you can have only two outcomes from it: win or lose. Settle with one and just move on.

69. Stop Faking Your Life
It’s so easy to get caught in a flow of fakes. Society wants us to politely lie and you need to lie sometimes. Just stop it. Being authentic is the best thing you can do. No need to hide your sorrow, nor your joy. They’re both part of life.

70. Define Goals
Again, that goes hand in hand with writing a personal mission but it’s more than that. It’s the habit of clearly deciding – and, subsequently, describing – where you want to go. Do you have a goal? A passion, maybe? Go for it! And be verbose.

71. Help Others
Reach out and try to see if you can help others. You don’t have to be a Samaritan, just go out there and support somebody. The biggest trick of helping is really surprising: although it seems you’re giving, you’re in fact receiving a lot more.

72. Go Social
Mingle, interact, go out. Get used to meet new people. Make this a habit and you’ll soon get used to do new things too. The goal is not to be the best networker in the world, but to be connected to as many energy sources as you can get.

73. Spend Some Time Alone
Subsequently, make sure you set aside enough time for your own. You don’t necessarily need to recharge, but you need this time in order to get a new perspective. Stop for a while and look around. Where are you? Where do you want to be?

74. Fix Something By Yourself
Go fix a broken window, or a scratch on your car. Don’t call for a specialist, get involved, see how you can have an impact on things around you. Work with your hands, prepare to sweat. It will instantly make you feel better.

75. Create Value
Make things that others need too. Make something useful. Don’t follow blind or outdated commitments, go for what really makes a change around you. Creating value is the core of your activity here and the only thing you really have to strive for.

76. Do A Random Act Of Kindness
Doesn’t have to be in the form of a nice compliment this time. You don’t even need to communicate it to the target person. Just do an incognito service to someone. See how this makes you feel. Think how many times you received that.

77. One More Second
Create the habit of looking at things for one more second. Spend one more second before taking an important decision. Delay something. Time will follow your intention and open some unexpected window for you. Slow it down a little.

78. Understand What People Want From You
What you can do is not always what people want from you. Clearing that confusion alone could bring an immense relief to your life. You don’t have to immediately provide what they’re wanting, but if you do, you may have some big surprises.

79. Break An Old Bad Habit
Breaking a bad habit is difficult. But breaking an old bad habit will free an incredible amount of time into your life. Quit smoking or stop talking on the phone for hours. Whatever you break, it will change your life for the best.

80. Stop Complaining
Complaining is like an open invitation for troubles. The more you complain about something, the more of that something you invite into your life. Cut it out. You don’t get any comfort out of complaining, only troubles.

81. Reject What You Don’t Want
It’s so simple, yet so underrated. Society wants us to complain even when we don’t really like stuff. Like forcing us to smile when we don’t find it funny. Allow yourself to walk away from something you don’t like. Just do it!

82. Being Is Better Than Having
Too much and too often we shape our life’s fulfillment degree to the amount we possess. The fundamental mistake. If you’re doing it, stop it right now. You’re not what you’re having. Being is so much better than having.

83. Listen To Your Critics
This one might be difficult in the beginning but once you get used to it it’s fantastic. You may find out a lot of stuff about yourself that you didn’t know about. You think you are one kind of person, but others may disagree.

84. Don’t Take It Personally
Never. Your world is shaped by your reaction to things, not by the things themselves. Don’t get upset, don’t think that somebody knows you enough to make right assumptions about you. Acknowledge and move on.

85. Laugh
This time is not about smiling. It’s about laughing. Don’t you ever miss another opportunity to laugh. Especially at yourself. The longer your laughing sessions, the shorter your misery ones. Looks like a nice deal, isn’t it?

86. Go With Passion
Don’t let your rational mind stand in the way of your passion. If you found – or at least felt, even occasionally – something that thrills you, you’re there. You don’t need a confirmation on this from anybody. Go with your passion.

87. Trust Your Emotions
Don’t underestimate your emotions. Or overestimate them. Your emotions are your feed-back system and for that they are very important. Trying to ignore your emotions is like depriving yourself from lights in a car running in the middle of the night.

88. Live It Like A Holiday
Ever observed how nice you feel during your holiday? How light, joyful and authentic? Everything is just wonderful. Well, you are on a continuous holiday here. It starts with your birth and end with your death. Live it like a holiday.

89. Make A Story Out Of It
Do you like a good story? I love it. Make everything in your life story-worthwhile. Make it as it would be a fantastic journey and you will be at all time the observer, the hero and the narrator. Create the story of your life.

90. Stop Being A Follower
Admiring is nice. But being admired is even better. Stop trying to fit in other people’s shoes. Find your own path. If that means breaking up completely your lifestyle, so be it. If you are “like” somebody else you can’t be “like” yourself anymore.

91. Watch Your Beliefs
Your beliefs are not you. But they are shaping your life constantly. You have the power to change them at any point in your existence. But in order to do that, you must first start to observe them, to isolate them, to accept them.

92. Stop Lying
To others and to yourself. Although it might ease a complicated situation, a lie is not good in the long run. The trick is that if you’re telling a lie you’re altering your reality. And a distorted reality will be impossible to handle.

93. Stop Reacting To Stuff
And start acting on stuff. Initiate things. Start projects. Predict situations and be there before the hurricane hits. Reacting to stuff is a victim paradigm. Stop being a victim and start acting. Create your life instead of being the creation of others.

94. Live Today
Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Go for what you can do today and leave yesterday behind for good. It’s not here anymore. And tomorrow doesn’t even exist yet, so why bother. All you have is today. Don’t waste it.

95. Expect The Unexpected
If there’s something unusual that happens to you, go for it. The unexpected is a signal of an opportunity. It will not always be nice, this unexpected, but whenever it’s around, magical things are happening. Wait for it. Praise for it.

96. Enjoy
Like being in joy. Like giving permission to yourself to extract joy from any situation you’re in. Even if it’s bad. Or especially if it’s bad. Joy is everywhere, you just have to let it manifest through you. Don’t resist joy. Don’t reject it.

97. Make Your Own Rules
And stick with them. Go for what works for you, not the others. Go for what you want, not the others. Including me. Make your own system and be proud of it. You may upset some people in the process, but hey, that’s life.

98. Love
Unconditionally. Totally. Constantly. Restlessly. Love is the only glue that keeps your life running. You were born out of love and you carry it deep down in your being. Love is never about the others, it’s about you.

99. Get Rid Of Labels
Things are what they are. Don’t use labels anymore, use directly the things. Your notion of “right” and “wrong” are nothing but labels. In a different country your “right” might be “wrong”. Don’t charge yourself with this unneeded burden.

100. No Regrets
Regretting something is another form of not accepting reality. What you can do about it now? It’s gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. Focus on what you can change: your present moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Now. Live now.

Now Anyone at Your Café Can Hijack Your Facebook Account

A new Firefox extension lets anyone sharing an open wireless network at your neighborhood café or workplace easily access your Facebook, Twitter and myriad other online accounts. It's a terrifying tool designed to highlight a longstanding problem.

Seattle programmer Eric Butler's new Firesheep extension can show you a graphical list of the online accounts of everyone sharing an open wifi network with you. With one click on an icon, you're instantly logged in as them.

"HOLY CRAP" sums up the general Twitter reaction, as compiled by TechCrunch.

The vulnerability exploited by Firesheep has been there for years. Many major websites transmit the keys to your account — your login HTTP "cookies" — completely in the clear, with no encryption whatsoever. That's not a problem when you're on a well secured wireless network; for example if your local cafe uses WPA encyrption on the router, you'd almost certainly be fine. The vulnerable networks are those that are totally open, as well as, possibly, networks that use the weak WEP password system. You'll typically see these types of vulnerable networks in college dormitories, cafes and restaurants, or at other businesses that never bothered to modernize their wireless infrastructure.

Vulnerable sites include Amazon, Dropbox, Facebook, Flickr, Foursquare, Google, nytimes.com, Tumblr, Twitter, Wordpress, Yahoo and Yelp. These sites could fix the problem by routing cookies through the secure HTTPS protocol. Indeed, encouraging them to do so is why Butler created Firesheep:

Websites have a responsibility to protect the people who depend on their services. They've been ignoring this responsibility for too long, and it's time for everyone to demand a more secure web.

Judging from internet reaction to Firesheep, that's already happening.

Update: This vulnerability exists outside of the browser, so it's not Firefox specific, and switching to Chrome will not help, as some commenters have suggested. It also shouldn't affect cellular data networks, including 3G networks, so we've updated our wording above to make it clear we're talking about wifi.

Although the problem is fundamentally in the wifi networks and the destination websites, there is a Firefox extension that tries to route around the problem by redirecting cookies through encrypted HTTPS connections. Since many web servers don't offer HTTPS, your experience with that extension will be hit or miss. You can also ensure your GMail is locked down by checking the HTTPS toggle in your Gmail settings (it is secure by default). Your best bet, for now, is to avoid using open wifi networks.

Overcome Stress

As with any technique, you can’t just read about it to “get it” and have it work for you—you’ve got to practice it. Before you read on, please make a firm decision that you do practice...

Understand this: Stress is the result of our mental processes, not outside influences. The key, therefore, to eliminating stress in your life is to eliminate stress-producing thoughts.

The traditional view of stress was and accepted as the result of outside demands that overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope with those demands. Life circumstances come in ways that we are not equipped or resourced to deal with. In other words, we can’t handle what is “happening to YOU (us).”

You experience stress when life pushes you beyond your ability to adapt. That is why the most stressful circumstances are those that involve great change, such as losing a job, moving, death, and divorce. We experience stress because we lack the ability to quickly adapt to or handle these changes.

To those four “stressful” events we can add the generalized experience that “I just have too much to do and not enough time to do it” which seems to be more and more prevalent for many people. The explosion of the “information age” has bombarded us with “information overload” on top of increasing pressures to do more and more in less and less time. The solution, then, is to adapt better, manage things better, schedule better, prioritize better, reduce the demands upon you, and so on. This is where the term “stress management” comes from.

Note:
[Stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life—it comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life. Your job isn’t stressful—your thoughts about your job are stressful. Your relationship doesn’t stress you out—your thoughts about your relationship stress you out. All stress is an inside job, a result of subconscious assumptions. . . Things happen (divorce, layoffs, disease, etc.), and you experience stress—or you don’t—depending on what you think about those things. Stress is a function of beliefs, not circumstances]

This accounts for the fact that different people have dramatically different responses to the same life circumstances. For example, one person is laid off and sees it as a rejection of their worth and imagines impending poverty, while another sees it as a great opportunity to explore a new and more fulfilling direction. One person becomes ill and is consumed by a fear of everything falling apart, while another sees it as an important opportunity to slow down, take better care of their health, and re-evaluate what is most important in their life. One person sees their divorce as a huge drama full of pain and expense, while another may see it as a time to relate to their ex-spouse in a healthier way and learn how to have healthier relationships in the future. One person may view having too much to do as an overwhelming burden, while another may view having so much to do as the fruit of a vibrant and successful life. One person may view the death of a loved one as the end of love and happiness, while another may look back with fondness on the good times together and pray for their spouse’s joyful transition to the next phase of their journey. Your experience of any circumstance greatly depends on your beliefs.

“The key to eliminating stress¸and not just managing or escaping it, is to create a fundamental and lasting shift in the way you actually think.”

“Unhappiness arises internally, through the subconscious mind. And it is dissolved through insight.”

Insight? Insight is the realization that what you believed to be true is not in fact true. This realization allows the emergence of a more healthy or empowering perception. Insight cuts through “false beliefs” and eliminates their power over your perception.

“Every time that you experience stress, you’re thinking counterfactually. In fact, it’s not possible to experience stress without thinking counterfactually”.

By thinking counterfactually, we are thinking things “should” or “shouldn’t” be the way that they “are.”

There are also actually two types of counterfactual thinking. One creates inspiration, the other creates stress. One is expansive and the other is contractive. You have an expansive counterfactual thought when you experience “this” right now while envisioning “that” good thing in the future. For example, you think of the successful completion of a big project that you are working on, a vacation you’re planning, or someone special that you are looking forward to being with. You are envisioning some wonderful experience in the future, preparing for it, and being excited and expanded by that possibility.

The second type of counterfactual thinking is contractive. These are the counterfactual thoughts that create stress. For example, you step on the scale and see what you weigh and you tell yourself that you “should” weigh less. Your spouse or significant other doesn’t respond the way you think they “should” and you get mad. Your boss gives you a pile of work to do and you think that you “shouldn’t” be expected to get it done in the given time. You fail to achieve a goal that you think you “should” have achieved and become self-critical. You get upset because there “shouldn’t” be so much traffic. You get the idea.

Contractive counterfactual thoughts are judgments you place on “the way things are” by saying that they “should” be otherwise or they “shouldn’t” be the way they are. This type of thinking creates stress.

The way to counteract contractive thinking is to change your beliefs.

“The opposite of stress is education, releasing the contractions by having insights. What you need to do is not avoid your “shoulds,” but dismantle them”

Prove to yourself that the opposite of what you believed is true. You do this by identifying the conditions that are causing things to be as they are. When you see the cause and effect, you realize that “In reality, life really should be the way that it is, at this time.” There are good reasons why life is the way that it is. When you understand the causes, you gain insight, and that insight creates a permanent shift in perception that eliminates the stress caused by your former belief.

When you dismantle your “shoulds” you are more open to reality “as it is” or at least to healthier, more helpful beliefs about it. You can then take more effective action on the specific causes that can create positive outcomes in your life. This empowers you to think more clearly rather than being overwhelmed by the negative emotions and energy drain that came with your contractive beliefs.

First, I substitute the word “perception” for “thought.” Perception is a more holistic concept that includes your body, heart, mind, and energy/spirit. Perception includes your entire interpretive lens. It involves your physical state, your emotional state, your mindset, and your spiritual intention at any given moment. You bring all this to bear on every experience that you have. Your thoughts are an important part of this irreducible whole.

It important to work at all levels when addressing stress. It’s just as important to work from and through your body, your heart, your mind, and your energy/spirit. We can work with physical sensations, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and intentions. These form integrated neural, chemical, and energetic networks. Each aspect is an irreducible and interwoven part of the whole.

All beliefs are interpretive. All beliefs are contextual, they all come from a certain perspective and a specific point of view. Some may be healthier, more expansive, more empowering, and more effective toward your goals, but to say a belief is “true” is a slippery slope. This can easily lead to internal and external conflict and more stress over who has the “right” or the “true” view and who doesn’t.

Anyway, that’s my point of view, so I’ll use the words “healthier” or “more effective” rather than “true” or “real.” Bernstein himself calls some counterfactual thinking “expansive” and some “contractive” and I’ll keep to that way of framing things. Yet, even these are relative terms. Sometimes it’s healthy to contract and consolidate experiences, while, at other times, it’s important to expand and stretch your boundaries. The key is to become aware of where you are coming from at the moment, so you can make choices that are as informed and conscious as possible.

My suggestion for you this week is to pause and take a break whenever you feel stress rising. See if you can identify a belief that you are holding at that moment that is creating your stress

Take a break to identify your beliefs when you feel stress..all the best!

Selling Travel the Right Way - Call yourself a Travel Company

Everyone deserves to travel!

Travel awakens the soul and he who has yet to travel has only lived a page of life...LOH Ivan (2010)

While everyone deserves to travel, not everyone will. Modern day life although made convenient with the advances in technology and transportation has still a long way to go. Of course, we are not talking about Buck Rogers, Star Wars or even Battlestar Galacticca - although such a day may come.

People will travel provided that they have the means to travel. So what means are we talking about? There's knowledge, budget and desire which basically translate into knowledge of the destination that forms the initial thought of travel, budget that defines the level of comfort and whether it is affordable to travel, and last but not least the birth of desire which makes it a goal to travel.

Any respectable travel agent today would best avoid the word agent or agency, if they know what is good for them (no offense intended...).

It is better to be termed as a travel company with proud ownership of the products and services that are provided to public. Agents are purely representatives...

Life is like a Lift

Life is like a lift, it goes up and it goes down. What's important to remember is that we don't fart and leave it unbearable for the next person...or those who share it with us...
LOH Ivan (2010)

A wise "person" adds to say, "What about the fart others leave behind, if it helps you gain 'space' from others - by all means go ahead and fart!"

Communicating for Change

Foreword

Change is good. Communication drives change.

One of the most critical aspects to drive performance in an organization is communications. The only way to move an idea from your mind into other people's minds is through communications. Yet very few of us understand or have been trained on how to communicate effectively. In this newsletter I will share with you the 3C's of communicating for change. You can become a powerful change agent, simply by mastering the 3C's.

The essence of communications for change is that the message must be Clear - so it is easily understood, Compelling - so it grabs peoples attention and finally Consequential - it means something to the person such that the person will act on it. And there you have it, the 3 C's in communicating for - Clear, Compelling and Consequential.

Clear

Clear simply means that the receiver understands the message exactly as you meant it to be. The clearest of messages are short, direct to the point, use simple words and presented in the most appropriate language. Clarity get the message from your mouth to the listeners ear.


Compelling

To get into peoples minds your message must be compelling. Your message must give the receiver a reason to think and reflect on it; if not the message is lost. Compelling is what get the message from the ear into the brain.

Consequential

For people to act on your message, the message must be consequential to them. "What's in it for me?" The consequence must be real and meaningful. Consequential is what gets the message from the brain into the heart. And once the message is in the heart - action will happen.

When you are communicating, you are competing against other messages and other communications channels to gain the attention of the listener. By communicating the same message many times over multiple channels - spoken, written, group, one on one, bulletin board, email, twitter etc. dramatically improve the chances of the message getting through.

Examples of Messages:
We often see vision / mission statements that say "We want to be the leading organization in this industry" or "We want to be the preferred supplier of choice.." How do you think these statement measure up to the 3C test? Not very good, in fact they are fairly meaningless.

Let me now give you a good example; "We want to be the most profitable company in this industry in order for us to pay our employees the best salaries to ensure the highest quality of life for their families." Now, I would be very attracted to a company like this, wouldn't you?

Clear states what you want (the most profitable) , Compelling is about importance and why you want it (so I can play my employees good salaries) and Consequential explains the motivation for wanting it (to ensure the highest quality of life for their families).

To master the 3C's, you need to just keep practicing and very soon you will be motivating your staff to move the world! What do you think?

6 Characteristics of Leadership

6 key characteristics as follows:

1. The openness of the mind to learn and unlearn, construct and deconstruct. I think the very first attribute of a leader is in the pursuit of knowledge which creates the foundation for courage and wisdom.

2. An incredible level of self awareness combined with a strong ability to understand others from which emerges humility and temperance.

3. The ability to connect the dots on the one hand and seeking closure on the other. It is a powerful combination when you can make sense of seemingly unrelated information or events and at the same time having the drive to act on it , to complete, to getting closure.

4. Without a doubt is strong business acumen. I used to tell my managers, the income statement and balance sheet to a manager must be like sheet music to a musician.You must be able to not only understand it, but interpret it in a way that produces beautiful music, or in the case of business – outstanding results. Most people can’t see beyond the numbers in the financials. Leaders have the ability to teach the followers how to make music out of an income statement. Out of this acumen comes communications that is short, simple and precise.

5.They excel at building great teams and coalitions. They know the secret of getting people to work together. They know how to build bridges and alliances. They know its not about them. Like the orchestra, the conductor doesn’t make a single sound but has the ability to get the musicians to collectively make beautiful music.

6. Leaders have massive capacity for self regulation. The ego is kept well in check. They do not allow personal desires and habits to derail them. And that can only happen if there is a willingness to accept feedback and work on it. Its the recognition of self imperfection in the quest for perfection. Leadership is incompatible with behaviors of hypocrisy, slander, envy and avarice. Leadership is an act of elegance, in behavior, in manner, and in tone. Leadership is about justice.

About Malaysia's Business Transformation Plan

The global financial crisis had hit hard on almost every country in the world in year 2009. Europe, as per the day of today, is still struggling. Several countries in especially southern Europe have tremendous financial debts and liabilities, the euro - as a consequence - has weakened with about 20% in less than 3 months, since March/April 2010. Initially, so it seemed, the emerging economies were a long way from the center of the storm - and that proved to be relatively true. Various emerging economies though are in different states of dealing with the fall out of the global financial crises. Malaysia was not spared from the global economic crises, which affected its overall performance. Malaysia's economy contracted by 1.7 in 2009. Though it is fair to say, that overall, Malaysia has quite well coped with the global financial crises of 2009.

At present, Malaysia is at the crossroads of change and transformation. The Government Transformation Program outlines the road map of how to turn Malaysia into a high income economy and a fully developed nation by 2020.

Realistic Materialistic Reality

How much money you make during the next 2-5 years

Will probably be the average of all the people you are associating with

RIGHT NOW.

What's that number?

Who are you associating with?

How successful are they?

What you do Watch It!

"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they
become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch
your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny..."

Full Service Arlines = Fine Service Attitude

Travel is already the norm in our daily life. Stop. Undisputed.

When something becomes the norm, competition increases and everyone who's in will start trying to be better and bigger in their attempts to capture the hearts of customers and to fulfill the customer's needs.

Full service airlines, FSA are not new to us. Full Service Airlines are more beneficial than low cost careers.

Full Service Airlines are those airlines which not only provide traveling facility but they make the journey memorable one with their services. There is lot many services provided by them to the passengers so that they don’t feel bored in their journey. Airlines placing top priority to give maximum benefits to the travelers who fly with them.

The most interesting thing is that full service airlines keep a tab on minutest thing. The aircraft interiors are designed in such a way to give you relaxed feeling. The seats are lay-flat which recline to 180 degree for giving passengers a good sleep. They provide cozy blankets and pillows to add more comfort in getting sound sleep. Not only this, there are options of dimmed lighting as well.

The next important service is in-flight entertainment. There are so many facilities available like LCD, music, magazines, books, etc. They also provide mobile chargers, I-pod chargers etc. Apart from entertainment the other important service is FOOD. The passengers look forward for a healthy and tasty meal while traveling. Full service airline provides healthy menu inclusive of drinks. Some of the airlines have started serving local & international cuisines.

The full service airlines provide comfort and luxury to the passengers at a very reasonable price. The passenger has to become little smart to avail maximum benefits in less amount. The passengers can plan their journey in advance and book their tickets accordingly. If proper researches done the tickets can be reserved in lesser amount. Check all the travel sites and negotiate to get a better deal, not just www.reliancetravel.com!

Cheap flights are also there to cater the needs of passengers. They provide full services whatever required while traveling. They give attention to every basic need of travelers. The staff is courteous, well mannered and dedicated towards their responsibility. The passengers can enjoy all these benefits at a nominal price.

SO which is correct, does FSA equate both ways? Let me know what you think...

P/S: Sorry Tony!

Help Yourself by FIRST Helping Others

You might not agree but to help yourself you must first help others. By putting yourself out there is guaranteed the returns that if you had not, you would not.

Often, we’re reluctant to reach out, even though others are really keen to help. Overcome this by asking others whether they need help whenever it is apparent.

All you have to do is take a deep breath, be sincere in your approach and then knuckle down and get on with the work. And preferably, follow up to let the them know how you went!

We all love to share knowledge, especially ours. It feels good. We are social creatures by nature and if there’s something we need, solitude is definitely not it.

Do you agree?

Shell Contest Scam

MALAYSIA (Wednesday)

Received from +60178346914 today @ 7.32am

[SHELL BHD. Promotion...Tahniah! anda t'lah m"nangi contest shell, Rm11.000.- (No siri;887889) MAKLUMAT HUB: 012 8186614 Terima kasih]

It's a scam, obviously.

Number 1 - the quality of the written word
Number 2 - The amount supposedly "won" does not tally of the actual prizes
Number 3 - look at the "serial number"

Lesson of the day: Don't be fooled, easily...

TIHO

What is the meaning of TIHO? TIHO stands for Technology, Information, Humans and Organization.

Technology - drives the productivity of Knowledge

Information - the basis for knowledge and decision making

Humans - perform the work

Organizations - provides the structure and networks for the Humans

You have the Right

The right to speak and to be heard
The right to make errors
The right to change your mind
The right to be responsible only for yourself and your actions
The right to say no

About Twitter

Initially inspired by the concept of an 'away-message' merged with the freedom and mobility of SMS, Twitter began as an experiment in 2006. When value as an instant communication network during shared events like earthquakes, conferences, and festivals emerged, Twitter began to grow—Twitter, Inc. was founded in 2007. Today, Twitter is a privately funded company based in San Francisco, CA.

Anti Rape Condom

Courtesy of http://blog.mamashealth.com/2010/07/08/if-only-i-had-teeth-down-there/

Call it provocative, call it medieval, whatever you call it aside from self-defense classes, self-imposed curfews and bodyguards it has to be one of the most progressive devices created to help prevent the rape of women. Invented by South African doctor Dr. Sonnet Ehlers after treating a rape victim who said, “If only I had teeth down there,” the female condom dubbed “Rapex” is being readied for distribution after 20 years of research.

“According to Dr. Ehlers “As soon as the man puts his penis in the woman’s vagina the condom catches it. The “teeth” of the condom then penetrates his skin and causes severe pain. The man will have to go to a hospital to have the condom removed,” she said. It will also collect the rapist’s DNA.”

30,000 of these condoms are being distributed in South African in various cities where the World Cup games are being played. South Africa has one of highest incidences of rape in the world.

While some think it increases a woman’s feeling of vulnerability, one could argue that women walk in the world and shape their lives around knowing their vulnerabilities. Others argue that the device is medieval, “Yes, my device may be a medieval,” Dr. Ehlers says, “but it’s for a medieval deed that has been around for decades,” she said. “I believe something’s got to be done … and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”

While I don’t believe one thing will prevent rape, I do believe in having an arsenal from which to choose. What do you think?

So that's what happened to Lil' Kev

Lil’ Kev wins Astro suit

KUALA LUMPUR: Popular deejay Kevin Arokiasamy, better-known as “Lil’ Kev” who formerly co-hosted the Morning Show, won his breach of contract lawsuit against Astro’s Airtime Manage­ment & Programming Sdn Bhd.

High Court Judicial Comm­issioner Justice Rosilah Yop awarded a declaration to Lil’ Kev that a letter by Airtime Manage­ment dated Aug 28, 2003, meant that the defendant had violated the terms of an agrement.

Justice Rosilah issued a declaration that the violation of the terms meant that he could terminate the agreement and claim for damages.

She declared that the letter and its order was a modification to the terms of the agreement which required his consent.

The judge has ordered that damages be assessed after hearing evidence from Lil’ Kev and three witnesses of the defendant.

In his suit filed on Dec 15, 2004, Lil’ Kev claimed that he had entered into an agreement with the defendant on Aug 29, 2002 where he consented to serve its radio station hitz.fm for two years.

His salary for the duration of the contract was RM24,000 per month for the first year and RM26,000 each month the second year.

He said the dispute occurred when he was directed to transfer to the afternoon shift which he felt violated the terms of the agreement.

Lil’ Kev has been co-hosting the Morning Show since 1997.

In a statement of defence filed on Feb 21, 2005, the defendant stated that although it reserved the right to modify, add to or eliminate all or any part of benefits at any time, it had offered relevant incentives to Lil’ Kev.

Speaking to reporters later, his lawyer Isa Aziz Ibrahim said the defendant had no right to transfer his client to the afternoon shift as it violated the terms of the agreement.

When contacted by The Star, Lil’ Kev, 39, said he was relieved by the judgment.

“Normally, corporate companies are not favourable to us. It should protect the talent,” he said.

He said the judgment would be “a sort of protection for deejays so that they will not be easily pushed around”.