Making Good Conversation

Have you ever been surrounded by new people and been nervous about what to say? Well don't because it doesn't hurt to talk and listen, and listening of course is the biggest secret of all good conversationalists. It's easier to talk than to listen.

Making successful small talk with someone you've just met isn't rocket science, but having said so its more than having to remember standard open liners (which you shouldn't). Be natural and concentrate on the person you are making good conversation with. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised at how quickly people open up.

Here are practical "tips" to get you started for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say or when talking to a complete stranger (caution on the latter: with the crime rate nowadays you may not wish to be just talking to anyone let alone a complete stranger).

Be positive and be lavish with your compliments. A mild form of flattery as this is will most probably get you everywhere. People are reciprocal. They by nature are inclined to think well of you if you show you think well of them. Importantly leave sex out of it.

Be observant of the surroundings, what people are wearing, eating.... Notice those points and make good remarks of them.

Be politely inquisitive and interested in their life, hobbies, and interests. You can be off the hook with this one as the conversation will quickly move up a notch once you talk about a subject which they are interested in.

Don't ask questions which will draw a monosyllable yes or no answer. If the question does get such a reply, drag it further by thinking like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Robert Downey, Jr. movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"

Listen, really listen, to the other person. Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.